Finding Home
by Mus4u
Summary: The brothers struggle to get their lives back on track without the aide of the angels. More summary to come. Technically implied/past slash Dean/Cas. A sequel to Healing Faith
1. Chapter 1

Dean ran a ragged hand down his face. One week, one, one, oneoneone. He picked up the soft cloth he was using to clean his gun and ran it furiously over the hilt and then down the barrel. One week. The high spirits that Dean had felt only a week ago was dampening and he couldn't bring himself to even try and bring it back. He growled and threw the cloth across the room a satisfied smirk gracing his lips when it plopped on Sam's face and his brother had to scramble to remove the reeking rag.

"Damn it Dean." Sam tossed it back with a little more force than necesseary and his own mouth turned up at the corners to smirk when it smacked against Dean's chest and left a stain.

"Sam!" Dean jumped up and went to the bathroom yanking the shirt over his head to get it under the water as fast as possible. "This is my favorite shirt." Dean scrubbed relentlessly at the small spot on the shirt and Sam's smirk quickly turned to a frown.

"Jeez Dean you know it'll come out. It's just gun oil." He mumbled shaking his head and went back to the jumbo size map of the Untied States he was looking at plotting out the most logically courses to take.

They'd found out that just ripping the list in half wasn't good enough; Michael hadn't put them in order of convince or anything. So Sam had been spending the last two and a half days on the phone with Bobby, who was probably working on a similar map only his was probably world wide. The idea was for Dean and Sam to close as many doors as possible in the US and Canada, they'd already run across a few that would take them that way. While Bobby co-ordinated with the sympathetic hunters on doing the international doors. 'Door' was what Bobby had deemed them because they weren't like the gate that had open two years ago; these were well hidden hard to find exits that only Demons with connection would know about. Which meant they were probably ever _more_ dangerous because demons with connections never sounded great when paired together.

Dean tried to tune out Sam, who couldn't help but mumble under his breath, as he finally gave up on the shirt knowing that Sam was right; it was only gun oil. His thoughts drifted as they often did these days to Cas and that last day they spent together. Dean spent _all_ of his down time replaying that in his mind, at least until the part where his angel started talking about th-Josh. He hadn't talked to the older man since leaving him at Bobby's. He had thought that wouldn't be strange but he found himself sometimes thinking about it; giving him a call and making sure that Bobby wasn't driving him out of his mind or anything. Those thoughts left a sour taste in his mouth so he pushed them deep down; Dean was great at a lot of things and repression definitely made the list.

"Dean I think we should head towards the west and then work our way east. Best bet I think. Then skip up to Canada, I've got three up there so far." Sam spread the map out over Dean's bed uncaring of his disassembled guns that were strewn across it.

"Yeah okay." Dean thought of ripping the color-coded map in half but Sam had already delayed them enough with going over all the co-ordinates before setting out. Delayed them enough that in thirty-six hours it would be one week. He growled low in his throat and wondered how much an over the phone shrink would cost because knowing exactly how much time had passed since the last time he had held his angel in his arms was not healthy. Not healthy at all.

Dean hadn't been too immobile though, he had spent the first three days working on a hunt that he found not ninety miles from Bobby's when they stopped for gas and food because the brothers hadn't ate in what felt like years. He'd been busy shoveling as much of a cheap pre-cooked, nuked burrito in his mouth as he could glancing over the paper that Sam had picked up when the familiar signs of dark witchcraft popped out at him. Unconsciously Dean had headed right for the town, the same town they were still holed up in because Sam had decided on a little arts and crafts.

He'd been able to for a moment when he was caught up in the adrenalin of the hunt to forget the terrible pain Cas leaving had left him with. For a moment it was old times with Sam just hunting evil and saving people. It took Dean back to a time right before every thing had been turned on it's head.

He shook his head trying to forcefully remove the dangerous turn his thoughts were taking. He had promised his brother that he wouldn't go crazy and he was going to keep it.

* * *

"Tell me I'm dreaming." Dean groaned and covered his eyes to block out the image of Michael at the end of his bed. This was just wrong, wrong on so many levels. He willed himself some where else and when he opened his eyes again he was relieved to find himself and Michael no longer in his motel where he'd been having a fantastic dream or at least until Mike had shown up he could pretend it was more than a dream. He had to think that the bar wasn't much better; it felt wrong to have the angel in such a seedy joint.

"I am sorry to have.. interrupted you." Michael didn't look sorry or embarrassed, which would have made Dean feel ten times better if he had known that the archangel was even the slightest bit ruffled by the scene he had ruined. "I wanted to speak to you about your mission; actually it was more of a queston. Why have you been ignoring the jobs you've obviously come across?"

Dean didn't know what to say at first, "I didn't think they were as important as the doors."

Michael frowned, "Dean saving people is your first job. Closing doors is second. You shouldn't ignore those who need your help."

The man started pacing. "The hell man." Dean turned on the angel giving him a glare. "What the hell do you want from me? You give us a list of doors that lead to hell and tell us they need to be closed. There is obviously _demons _coming through and you're telling me they aren't prioreity?"

"Saving humanity is your prioreity." Michael said sternly.

"Damn it Mike we could use a little help you know!"

Michael's face darkened but it wasn't Dean he was becoming annoyed with, "Stay out of this Raphael." He growled. Dean wanted to shout, 'No! No do not stay out of this.' But he kept his mouth shut. "Things have become," Michael struggled to find a word. "Strained in heaven." He had feeling things were a little more than strained. "The traitor eludes us at every turn and more and more of my brethren wish to return to Earth and aide in your mission. We cannot allow that." He said quickly as Dean's mouth fell open to protest that it would be a big help if they did.

"So that's it. You came down here just to pile on more work and I don't even get a pack mule for the trouble?" Dean bit out.

"I wish that it could be different Dean." Michael said solemnly and for once the angel sounded like he meant it. "Remember if you ever need me I am only a call away."

Dean couldn't let him go without asking, "Wait Michael." He was suddenly very nervous. "How is he?"

He thought that Michael wasn't going to answer him at first but then he turned and faced him. "Castiel is trying to understand. He is healing." It was a lie, Dean could tell by the sadness in his eyes but Dean thought it was a nice lie. The angel was gone and Dean didn't feel like dreaming any more.

* * *

Dean threw back the shot in front of him as he signaled the bartender to bring him another. Closing these things sucked, not all of them worked the same way as the gate had and figuring out how to seal them so they wouldn't reopen took as much time as hunting down the demons that were stupid enough to take up residence in the surrounding areas. And Michael decided to pile more work on, but Dean hadn't told Sam that it was the archangel that had asked them to continue their original mission. Sam missed Azrael more than Dean had even thought he would and his younger brother got strange whenever Dean had tried to bring them up.

Dean ran a weary hand down his face and sighed, he gently twirled the amber liquid around the edge of his new shot. One more shot he kept telling himself and then he would head back to the motel room, the empty motel room.

These demons were getting in his brother's head and filling it with false hope that Ruby had made it back to Earth and that Sam better find her before another demon did. Lilth was still looking for her head on a platter after the double cross she had done. Helping Sam not only kill Alastair but then telling Dean where to find them. If you believed the demons, and Dean didn't not at all, Lilth had been pushed out of the plan to break Lucifer out of Hell. That part didn't bother Dean. It was the part where Lilth was still going to try, even if she had to find a way around the final seal. If you believed the demons, and still Dean didn't not at all, there was still a renegade angel out there working to get his brother out of hell. That one Dean sort of believed, because he knew from the one lone conversation he had had with Michael since the angels had departed that things were tense in heaven. Very tense.

Sam was off on another dead end mission to find his demon. Dean didn't like it, every time Sam returned he was usually as drunk as Dean was, who was usually pretending to be asleep. But Dean couldn't bring himself to say anything. Half of him needed the time alone, needed to be away from Sam and his singlemindness to close doors and find Ruby. The other half couldn't deign him the hope that he would find his lover, no matter how much he hated the demon bitch. He was never going to forgive her for feeding his baby brother demon blood.

Dean knew the biggest reason why he was spending most nights, that weren't being spent in old cemetery's and abandon churches, drinking. His name was Bobby Singer and he left him a voice message everyday, Dean had stopped answering the phone a week ago after the first conversation. Today's message? "The boys driving me bonkers worrying about you. Give him a call."

He didn't know what to say to the man, but it had been two weeks. When he thought about it like that Dean felt guilty. He shouldn't call the guy just so he could satisfy some sick part of him that needed to hear Castiel's voice. His fingers fiddled with the phone that had some how ended up in his hand. It was probably the six shots that were telling him a cheap imitation was better than nothing.

He had the phone flipped open and the number brought up that Bobby had given him for Josh. The crazy kook had made Dean put it in his phone while he was still talking to Bobby. He glanced around the dive he was currently holed up in and he didn't know why he even cared if Josh heard that he was in some bar. It wasn't like he wouldn't be able to tell Dean was drunk. Realizing that it would just be easier to have this conversation some where else he tossed the shot back and threw some money on the bar.

Dean didn't mind the walk back to his motel, it was cooler in Montana then it had been in Neveda two nights ago and he needed the fresh air to sober him up a bit. The cool air felt great on his alcohol flushed skin and even after several deep breaths he still wanted to call Josh.

He hung up after the second, "Hello?" Maybe it was the phone, he'd never heard Cas over a phone. Maybe it was because Dean hadn't been able to tell when it had still been fresh in his mind, that low gravely pitch. Whatever it was Josh sounded nothing like Castiel; the voice not low enough, not grave enough. The stray thought about over the phone head-doctors came back; who the _hell_ missed the grave, end of the world is nigh of someones voice? Apparently Dean Winchester.

His phone rang startling him out of the memories he was just starting to fall into. Without looking at the screen he ripped it open and barked, "What?"

"You called me." Josh said slowly and Dean couldn't stop the laugh when a image of Josh holding out his hand as if to settle a restless animal came to mind.

"Yeah," Why the hell had Dean thought this was a good idea. "Getting along with Bobby?"

There was silence for a moment and Dean thought Josh was going to hang up on him this time. "Fine, I guess. We don't see much of each other. He's been busy.. but you know that." Josh faltered and they lapsed into silence.

Dean stumbled into his motel room and banged his knee on the chair that Sam had left swung out from the small table. "Fuck," He mumbled. "Fucking sucks." His hand clenched around the phone and he had to force himself to relax, but something in his words were enough to set Josh off.

"You're a bastard." Josh snapped, "How the fuck do you think I feel? I called my mother-"

"I thou-"

"And she told me I was dead to her." Josh didn't even acknowledge that Dean had tried to say something. "That she should have known I wouldn't keep myself clean. I thought I could explain to her what had happen to me, she has always been very religious and she called me a nutcase. Told me to stay away from her for good; she wasn't going to help my worthless, godless person any more. So you think it's tough for you? Your stupid angel ruined my life!" The line went dead and it took Dean five minutes before he pulled himself together enough to close his phone.

How many other lives were ruined by the angels?

Sam showed up two hours later eyes bloodshot and reeking of cheap liquor. They ignored each other and didn't get much sleep.

* * *

Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural, I wish but I don't. Darn.

Hiya! This took forever. Half because I know I promised an alternate ending to HF and well.. yeah I'm very disorganized and am working out out of about five different notebooks which get missed placed and or fall completely into black holes. I have one in my closet it has taken many things from me. Including the notebook with the alternate ending. SO I'm slowly pieceing it back together. Which isn't that hard because it's a happy ending and I love happy endings I've got noo problem with happy endings. So I should have it to you that wanted it very soon. Just give me a little while longer.

The other half that it took so long was because while this 1st chapter wrote easily the next few are staggering but I've got chapters ahead written out and ready to go. Yeah, I've got to stop writing things out of order.

I'm going to leave the poll up for just another chapter or two and then I'll be taking it down. So if you want to get your opinion in there get over to the profile! :)

I promise I wont have such rambling author's notes in the future :) Well, that can't be much of a promise. I love to ramble.


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning they were both hungover and knew they shouldn't be heading out to fight one more demon that they were pretty sure was responsible for the destruction of several hundred acres of forest. Dean had to drag himself out of bed while Sam tried as quietly as possible to moan into his pillow.

"Get up Bitch." Dean threw a pillow at his head and could barely grin when Sam actually did groan from being shakin.

"Screw you Dean you're in no better shape than me." It was the truth as Dean looked at himself in the mirror. His bloodshot eyes stared back at him and he was sure that both brothers were reeking of stale liquor.

"Just get your ass up and lets get this over with." Dean barely ran a toothbrush over his teeth, he just needed to get out of here and kill something. Anything.

The Impala was eerily silent, no music, no talking. Both brothers were barely managing with their hangovers. Dean finally broke the silence, "I called Josh last night." He hadn't been planning on bringing it up but suddenly he wanted, needed to talk to someone about the conversation.

Sam's eyebrows rose a little in confusion, "Why?"

"Bobby's been bothering me about it." Sam looked surprised and the older Winchester was a bit annoyed that he was the only one feeling the burnt of Bobby's mother-hening. "Apparently he worries about us."

"Sam frowned, "I don't think--"

"Seriously," Dean cut in knowing exactly what Sam was going to say. "It's none of your business. That's--that's not what I wanted to talk about." Sam motioned for Dean to continue, obviously not ready to drop his part of the conversation but willing to hear his brother out. "He said the angels ruined his life.. Do you think the other vessels are like him. Family that wants nothing to do with them, homes that are no longer there, jobs that are gone."

Sam really thought about it for a moment before answering. "I don't know. I--I never gave it much thought." He looked a bit ashamed with that.

"Yeah neither had I." Dean said simply and they lapsed again into silence.

* * *

Josh mopped the sweat from his brow and shoved the dirty rag into his back pocket. He glanced at his watch and as if to agree with the time his stomach growled. He'd been in the yard for six hours already and even with the sun beating down on him and a cool breeze as his only source of relief; it never felt like he'd been out there that long. Josh looked down at the order in his hand and a rare grin twitched at his lips. He'd never get how Bobby was still doing any business when he had back orders almost three months old and some older. Looking at the price of the hard to find part though sort of answered the question. You couldn't very well beat them.

"Kid, get your ass in here." His walkie-talkie crackled to like and Bobby's gruff voice sounded off the wall of cars surrounding him.

"I'm coming," He fumbled with the clunky piece of technology, which was a really kind word for the WWII devices. Only Bobby Singer would still have them in working condition.

"I swear kid," Two grin-twitches in one day was a feat but Bobby calling him kid always got him. Bobby was only half joking with his next statement, "If you keep forgetting to eat I'm gonna tie you to a chair and force-feed you." Josh wasn't forgetting to eat on purpose, he would just forget sometimes that he no longer had an angel sustaining him.

He groaned and then pushed the connect button, "I'm coming. Put coffee on."

"You got it Kid." He quickly finished the order he was filling and made his way back to the house.

Josh liked being called 'kid' and maybe as a thirty-five year old he shouldn't but whenever Bobby called him that it reminded him of his father and he missed him so dearly. It also made the terrible anxiety that he was feeling most of the time ebb for a while. Josh was still trying to figure out where the emotion came from and he had a sinking feeling that it had something to do with his finally three days with the angel. Something had happen during that time he couldn't remember; he'd been mostly aware of his time unless Castiel had been sleeping, or at least the angelic equivalent. Then things had been hazy and the magnitude of voices that overwhelmed him made it hard for him to concentrate on his own thoughts let only that of two dozen angels.

At the house Josh felt his usual small swell of pride at how much the old farmhouse was coming along. They'd replaced some of the siding, Josh had even started repainting some of the worse-for-wear parts of the wood work and trim. He was just about ready to start patching the roof and replaced the old shingles. Bobby wasn't a man to let his house get away from him but as Josh was well aware of the last two years hadn't been the easiest for the older man; any one would be exhausted looking after the Winchester brothers.

He kicked his boots on the bottom step knocking as much dirt from them as possible, he had been taking them off before he went in but one incredulously raised eyebrow from Bobby and Josh had blushed and not done it again. As his Aunt Judith had always said, "Dust is a country accent," And Bobby did not care about a little mud on the floors. The younger man didn't even want to think what he would say if he knew Josh swept and mopped the floors when ever he left on a hunt. The boots were hand-me-downs, well worn and a bit tight. Josh suspected that they belonged to Dean, so did the clothes that he now wore. Bobby had offered to take him to town and give him a credit card to buy himself some of his own clothes but he had turned the offer down. When he woke up the next morning on the kitchen table there had been a set of car keys and a credit card with the name 'Harold Haggle' and an ID to go with it.

Bobby didn't want him to feel trapped at the house.

Josh pulled a coffee mug from the cabinet and poured the coffee until it was nearly spilling over the rim. He loved Bobby Singer's coffee and when he had told the man as much the look he got said that he didn't get that reaction very often. It was as thick as mud and tasted as bitter as motor oil; when he was a boy it was the sort of brew his dad would have comically pounded his chest at and called it, 'Hair-grower.' He stood there alternating between gently blowing on the steaming cup to sipping at the scolding drink.

"You can't survive off coffee alone Josh." Bobby said as he came into the kitchen and pulled a pork loin from the oven. It smelled heavenly and as if to betray his next words his stomach gave a sharp growl.

"I eat," He said with only a hint of defensiveness. "I'm almost finished all the back orders." He said as an after thought.

Bobby nodded his head while putting the meat back in the oven. "The boys called this morning, their doing fine. Just hit the Colorado boarder."

"Oh," Josh nodded his head and didn't offer much more and he should have known that would pique Bobby's interest since he usually grilled the older man for information about the Winchesters, but since his conversation with Dean the other week he hadn't felt like thinking about the man. Let alone talking about him.

"You finally talk to the boy?" Bobby had the patience of a saint if his handling of the Winchester brothers and Josh were any indication. Too bad the man never got any children of his own.

"Something like that." Josh didn't want to explain that he'd lost it on the younger man and practically blamed him for all of Josh's own mistakes. Like it was personally Dean Winchester's fault that Josh was an idiot.

"That's good." Bobby wasn't dense and Josh suspected that he actually saw a lot more than a normal person, and normal in the sense of his normal. Not the happy-go-lucky normal. Bobby knew even if neither men had told him that their first conversation had not gone well.

Josh was finally able to move his mug to the table and sit down. Just as he lowered himself a plate of crackers and cheese appeared in front of him. "Pork'll be done in fifteen minutes munch on those for now." He would have bristled at being treated like a child if his stomach hadn't groan in betrayal again.

"Thanks," He nibbled on the edge of a cracker as his eyes fell on the newspaper still sitting on the table. It was the only reason he went into town; he'd established a beneficially rapport with the owner of the little general store there. She's been so excited to see that the 'wonderful Bobby' had a nephew staying with him she'd been more than happy to hold a weeks worth of the newspapers she carried for him. So on Mondays Josh went to town and got food for the week and the newspapers for all the surrounding areas. "Hey Bobby," He picked up the paper and pushed it towards him. "What's this sound like to you."

Bobby read over the article that had caught Josh's eye. "Sounds like a hunt." Bobby tapped his finger against the wooden table twice before standing and moving to the living room to look through a book. "Probably a simple haunting."

Josh thought he could handle a 'simple haunting' in theory, he was sure that it couldn't be that hard. So with that in mind he asked the question that had been burning in him for the three weeks he'd been with Bobby. "Can I go with you?'

Bobby hesitated and Josh didn't think it would be that hard for him to beg. "I don't know Kid... We haven't even really done any training and just reading about it isn't the sa--"

Josh surprised even himself when he cut Bobby off, "I could do something simple like--like salt and burn or something." Josh finished lamely a bit surprised again that it was so easy for him to think about salt and burning the remains of a person.

Bobby sighed, didn't look convinced but still said, "We'll see about it."

* * *

"Dude, I'm sorry. I didn--"

"Stop freaking apologizing," Dean snapped. "I get it, you didn't see it." The brothers were idiots, idiots sporting huge hangovers and shouldn't have been hunting with said hangovers. Dean poked gingerly at the newly dislocated shoulder, "Just help me get it back into place."

Ten minutes and a lot of cursing later they were in the Impala heading back towards their motel room. "We gotta stop doing this Dean. We're gonna end up dead."

Dean grunted not in the mood for a chick-flick moment, but Sam wasn't going to have it and after an intense gaze from his little brother he gave in a fraction. "I know."

"I'll--I'll make you a deal." Sam started quietly and it didn't sound like same wanted to make this praticular suggestion. "You stop mourning Cas--"

"I haven't been _mourning_; he isn't dead."

"Whatever, stop _moping_ and I'll stop--I'll stop looking for Ruby. We'll focus completely on closing doors." Dean understood now why Sam had been relucant.

"Okay," Dean hadn't thought it would be such an easy thing to agree to but he was tired. Tried of.. moping and wondering 'what if.'

"Okay," Sam scrubbed his hand down his face. "The next door is in Hotspring, Colorado and I think there's a White Lady in Poolsville." They sat in silence a long time and Dean could practically _hear_ Sam mulling over something. "Dean," He started carefully. "Maybe we should focus on the doors and then go back to hunting."

"We still gotta job to do." Dean had never mentioned Michael's visit and when Dean had started splitting his time between doors and finding jobs Sam hadn't questioned it.

"The job can wait Dean." Sam snapped, Dean thought for a moment of telling his little brother that it was a request from Michael and see how quickly he changed his tune. But Dean knew what that would bring; Sam would ask a million questions not one of which would help Dean not think about Castiel.

"We're not talking about this." And to prove a point Dean cranked the stereo and it only took one glare to keep Sam from trying to turn it back down.

Dean fiddled with his phone, he hadn't been able to sleep and had wandered out to the Impala in hopes of a little AC/DC calming his nerves. Finally making a decision he flipped the phone open and brought up Josh's number.

"Hello?" He sounded surprised and even less like Castiel, but Dean was starting to see that as good thing.

"I'm sorry that this happen to you." Dean said quickly before he could lose his nerve.

"I should be the one apologizing to you." Josh said quietly, " I am not angry at you or Castiel."

"Then.." Dean trailed off realizing that this was probably a conversation he should let Josh take at his own pace.

"My self mostly." Dean waited for him to continue. "I didn't think I was worth redemption. I thought to absolve my sins that I would _have_ to become a vessel; surrender myself to God's work. I'm mad at myself for not having more faith in God and in my self." Josh fell silent for a moment. "How's the hunt?"

"Not bad..."

Josh spoke up quickly, "I've been working in the yard, filling all of Bobby's back orders." Dean knew this but he got the feeling that Josh just wanted to talk. "We've been working to put the house back into order. It's an old place and the neglect that it's gotten these pass few years has taken it's toll. I've actually just started patching the roof; it's a big job but it needs to be done."

"You know how to patch a roof?" He doesn't know why this revelation surprised him; he didn't know anything about Josh.

Josh's voice fills with respect and happiness, "My dad was a Jack of all Trades and taught me a lot of what he knew. I could have been a decent carpenter in a different life."

"I wanted to ask you something," Dean said suddenly. He'd thought of calling Bobby and asking the older man his opinion on the matter but now that he was on the phone with Josh he wanted _his_ opinion.

"Go ahead." Josh said carefully and Dean suspected that he thought this question might be on a more personal level.

"Do you think we should quit hunting until we've closed all the gates?"

"No," The response was automatic and Dean wondered how much he believed that with the little thought he'd put in the question. "You should never ignore those who need help." Dean couldn't help but laugh softly, he sounded like an angel himself.

"Thanks."

"You needed justification?" Josh sounded confused.

"I needed to have another _human_ tell me it was the right thing to do." Dean sighed, "Michael came to me and told me my first mission was to save humanity and I just.. I don't.." Dean faltered realizing what he was about to say.

"It's hard to trust them, I know." Josh said softly and it helped to know that Dean wasn't the only one who couldn't completely trust them. "It's getting late.."

"Yeah," Dean thought about it a moment before, "It'll be okay if I call you again?"

"Yeah, uh yeah that would be fine." Josh said quickly. "Uh, goodnight." He hung up before Dean could respond.

Dean flipped the phone shut and turned the music up a little louder. It _was_ late but he still wasn't quite ready to fall asleep. He had a feeling what his dreams would be about.

* * *

Not a lot of frills today folks! I just want to say that I'll be closing the poll on May 31 or June 1 if I'm not actually on at midnight ((which would be a shock and a half))

Thank you for the support, you guys rock!!


	3. Chapter 3

Bobby wasn't sure about this but the kid was determined, and Bobby had to admit Josh wasn't a bad shot. It was a simple job an easy haunting that the older man was sure they could work out in a day or so. Wasn't hard in a small town like this to get all the gossip.

"Terrible what happen," The woman frowned eying Josh who was standing off to the side a little ways trying to ignore her interested eyes. "Poor woman hasn't been the same since her husband disappeared and they found his car in the ravine. Now she keeps witnessing all these terrible accidents and poor Hank stabbing himself; she was there for that also. It's like she has a bad cloud hanging over her."

Bobby mentally rolled his eyes. She had no idea. "Thank you for your time ma'am."

"If you don't mind me asking, what does the FBI have to do with such a terrible accident?" She asked before Bobby could step away. Her eyes were shinning and Bobby knew whatever he said would be gossip before they made it to Annabell Hicks house.

"Just tying up loose ends ma'am," Josh stepped forward and gave her a charming smiling and Bobby was stunned. "I'm sure you've heard how hard-nosed the government can be; we've got to cross all those T's and dot all our I's." He took up her hand and patted it slowly and that charming smiling turned a bit secretive and the gossip-harpy leaned in a little bit more. "I hope you'd understand that we're not trying to cause a stir here. Poor Ms Hicks has gone through enough, I'm sure we'd both agree?"

She nodded mutely her cheeks stained with red as Josh smiled once more before placing her hand back down on the counter. "Of course Agent Jones." She was a bit breathless.

Outside Bobby turned to the Kid and gave him a hard look, "Where in the hell did that come from Kid?"

Josh ducked his head and didn't look at Bobby as he mumbled, "It didn't hurt being a bit charming to the female dealers." Before he took off at a brisk walk towards the car. Bobby shook his head, with an act like that no wonder Josh had had a problem.

"Alright," They were walking up the path leading to the Hicks residence. "Let me do all the talking." Josh may have charmed the socks off the town gossip but this was going to take a little more of Bobby's field if Ms Hicks _was_ being haunted by her deceased husband. The Kid nodded his head and fumbled a moment with his ID before settling it in his hands. Bobby knocked sharply on the door twice. It took a few minutes but a haggard woman opened the door a crack.

"Can I help you?" She glanced nervously over her shoulder before giving them a weak smile. Yeah, they were in the right place.

"FBI, ma'am. Agent Harris, Agent Jones." Bobby quickly showed his badge and was proud when Josh didn't fumble with his; he'd practiced enough in the car. "We had a few questions about your husband disappearance." It was straight through, Annabell Hicks gave all the answers Bobby would expect from someone who was being haunted. Yes, strange things had been happening. No, she wasn't sure why. And please it's been a hard few months, could they give her some peace. In the eight months since her husbands 'death,' Bobby was using the term lightly since no body had been found, Annabell Hicks had had five men all suffer terrible accidents right after speaking to her. Three were near-fatal, while the other two had resulted in the death of the men. Bobby had seen a lot of things in his years but he'd never seen the deceased keep possible suitors from having a chance with their still-living loved ones. It was bizarre to say the least.

"She was lying." Josh said simply once they were back in the car.

"Huh?" Bobby hadn't got the impression that Ms Hicks had been lying. "Are you sure?"

"I think she knows what happen to her husband. She seemed full of remorse which is strange since it was an accident she could not have prevented. She was guilty which also makes little since." Josh bit his lip and suddenly didn't look as sure about his observations. Sometimes Bobby felt like Josh was a lot younger than his boys. "I think--I think she may have had something to do with it."

"Where's this coming from?" Bobby had been wondering if maybe being a vessel had changed the man. Holding the awesome power of an angel had to do _some_thing to the body. "Kid?" Josh was silent before he shrugged his shoulders and looked out the window not offering any more.

* * *

"Damn Harpy." Bobby muttered under his breath barely dodging the knife that was now embedded mere inches from his head. Josh had been right, Annabell had known what happen to her husband, hell she knew a lot more than that. After Paul Hicks had suddenly died in his sleep instead of calling an ambulance or even the police she'd taken his car out to the ravine and let it drive over the edge. Right now Josh was still trying to figure out where exactly she'd buried the body.

"Again," She shouted gleefully and instead of being scared and wanting the ghost to go away Annabell was viewing the spirits protective nature as her husbands way of saying he'd love her til death do they part. "Again!" She demanded this time.

"Psychopathic harpy." Another knife embedded in the wall and Bobby was really hoping that the Kid had had at least an idea of where she'd buried her husband. That last knife was a bit too close for comfort and the dingy table that he was hiding behind wasn't going to last much more. Another kitchen chair and it would be history. He couldn't even shoot the piece of spirit crap; it was hiding behind the woman and even if she was crazy Bobby wasn't shooting her.

"No!" She shouted suddenly and Bobby risked a peak over his cover. "What have you done!" The spirit was turning to ash in front of their eyes as Annabell fell to her knees.

"Well I'll be a monkeys uncle." Bobby muttered, "You did it Kid." He stood up as Josh came running into the room. His shy, proud smile only lasted until his eyes fell on the weeping widow.

He went up to her and put a hand on her shoulder that she twisted violently away from. "He's at peace now."

"You took him away from me!" She hit him weakly but fell to her bottom and stayed there. Josh looked confused; he'd missed Annabell's whole speech about true love never dying.

"I-I'm sorry." He stuttered out. Bobby quickly grabbed him by the shoulder and dragged him from the house. They had to make their quick exit now before the cops and fire department showed up.

"She buried him in the back yard." Josh mumbled an hour later. "It was a shallow grave and while it was cold out I guess she hadn't had a problem with a smell, but she planted these obnoxious smelling flowers over him. I smelled them when we were here earlier and I had thought then that it smelled strange.. Like death." Josh snapped his mouth shut.

"You recognized the smell of death?"

"I have become quite acquainted with the smell." Josh hissed between his teeth, "How could she do something like that?"

"People are crazy." Was the only thing Bobby could say to him. Josh didn't say anything else and Bobby knew he hadn't helped.

* * *

This time it was Josh twitching with a phone in his hands unsure of what to do; he'd never been the one to reach out before. Dean always called him. The younger man had never said that it would be un-welcomed but Josh wasn't sure. He was very confused and scared. Which felt so stupid all things considered. Without hesitating anymore he quickly pushed the speed dial for Dean.

"Hey," Dean answered on the second ring.

"Hi," Josh had had thousands of things he wanted to say to the man but now he couldn't think of them.

"How are you doing?"

Josh had to bite his tongue, Bobby had already called Dean and told him Josh hadn't been able to handle his first hunt. "I went on a hunt with Bobby." He said needlessly.

"Exciting, huh?" Dean's voice lifted a bit and maybe he didn't know as much as Josh had suspected.

Josh hesitated a moment, "I guess." What was he supposed to say? That it had been terrible and he never wanted to go on another hunt again.

"People doing crazy things is a part of the job. Humans are strange." Dean might not have known that Josh had freaked out a bit or that Bobby had started questioning him about his time as a vessel but the young man could still tell that the hunt had not been everything Josh had thought it would be.

"But," Josh wasn't sure what he was going to try and argue, "What she did.. what happens to her soul?"

It was silent a long time and Josh was sure he'd finally pushed a nerve but then Dean's quiet voice broke over the connection. "Then we'll just have to pray for her." He was stunned a moment.

Josh nodded and then, "Yeah I guess we will."

"C'mon man it was a little bit exciting." He could hear Dean's big toothy grin.

"Yeah," Suddenly Josh's own face was the same. "It was." They talked for a long time about the hunt and the brother's recent job and door. It was nearing eleven and Josh wanted to talk just a little more about his own hunting. "I don't think I'm ready." Josh cut in the middle of Dean's story about a werewolf him and his father had encountered years ago. "I think I need more time to prepare for the horrors a hunter faces with each job." He continued when Dean didn't say anything right away.

"Y'know Josh you don't need to hunt. You're fine doing what you're doing. Readjusting." Dean said softly.

Josh grounded his teeth on the familiar advice; Bobby had tried to tell him the same thing. "I want to help." He'd said as much to Bobby but with more respect. "I sort of remember the hunt you and Castiel went on. I remember how scared and confused he felt. Creatures like that shouldn't exist and since they do someone has to be there to get rid of them. I want to be that person. Now that I know these things exist I cannot imagine going back to a life where I pretend that they don't."

There was another long pause from Dean's end of the connection before, "I understand that." Josh let out a sigh of relief it was a much better response than Bobby's 'Think about it.' Though he hadn't said as much to Bobby. "I couldn't give up this not if I wanted to, not if someone wanted me to."

"No one?" Josh didn't know what he was doing. Dean and him didn't talk about Castiel, not like that. Maybe in passing Josh would make a reference to his days as a vessel. Like he just did, but he'd never asked Dean about the angel.

"I'd give it up for him, I'd do anything for him." Dean quickly changed the subject and Josh only had a moment to wonder if he'd ever heard Dean say Castiel aloud since that last time Josh and the angel had been one. "Sam's starting to bitch a lot."

"Oh," Josh knew a rant was coming.

"Yeah, he doesn't want to do the jobs, just close doors." Dean huffed, "I've been thinking about telling him about Michael and the--the order he gave me. But he's going to be pissed that I didn't say anything before."

"If it will help him understand why you've made the choices you have you should tell him." Josh supplied.

"Yeah I know, but I don't know how Sam's going to react to being ordered around." Dean lapsed into silence and Josh was content with waiting for him to continue. "They weren't _really_ orders." A sigh, "But Mike is right; we can't ignore people who need us." Sometimes Josh didn't even have to talk. Dead did most of the talking and before either of them knew it the younger man would work out whatever was bothering him.

Josh found himself nodding again belatedly realizing that Dean couldn't see this gesture either. "I agree."

Dean laughed it was a carefree sound, one that made Josh smile, "I know you do. Y'know thanks for always listening to me bitch."

"I don't mind. I--I fe--" Josh was cut off by Dean's soft,

"Holy shit." Josh thought it was highly inapproiate. "I gotta go." Dean's end went dead and Josh was left staring at the phone.

* * *

So I may have abused the word 'harpy' but we can all see Bobby saying it.. hehe. I know the whole 'vessel was a drug user' is a little over done. I like my cliches, but that wasn't all Josh was and I do have a whole little story to him that we'll learn about. I mean just from the few times he's mentioned his dad we know he had a happy childhood. Like I said at the end of Healing Faith there be no vessel!slash here. So I do wonder what Mr Josh was going to say.. hmm.

I know it was an awkward end but the next chapter can't be broken up so I had to leave it like that. Which that chapter is already written it's just a matter of finding time to type it up.

Always a huge thank you! to all of you! You make it worth agonizing over where to go with this.. Not that I don't know where I'm going. I do. I actually have a lot of the later chapters written up. :D


	4. Chapter 4

Ruby shuddered and gasped as the body kept pumping the cursed holy water through her veins. She held her shattered right arm closer to her body cursing whatever they had done to her that was keeping her from healing herself. Not for the first time she had to wonder if they were _letting_ her go. They wanted Sam and Dean, wanted them something bad, but that hadn't been why they were keeping her. They had wanted the Traitor. The Traitor was elusive and not even Ruby knew who it was. Very few did, like Beriah. Another body shudder ran through her as she remembered her main torturer in the Pit. The left arm wasn't in much better shape, dislocated and broken in at least one place. "Ah," She stumbled on the uneven sidewalk and almost ended up on the ground.

_Keep moving, keep moving_

Her fractured ankle throbbed with every step that she took but she wasn't going to let it slow her down. The torture had been worse than this, she could make it to Sam. All she had to do was make it to Sam; she could already smell him a mile away. Sam. Sam would save her, heal her. All she would have to do is walk him through it, explain to him how their blood was connected with each other. Ruby would be whole again in no time.

"Shit," She lost her footing and fell to the ground. Ruby laughed soft and broken. The truly ridiculous thing, as she tried to pull herself off the ground, was that this body would survive the curse that was slowly burning her demonic soul away. A few broken bones and a life time of nightmares and therapy but she would _survive.  
_

"Sweetheart?" Ruby broke into a grin, God _did_ have one hell of a sense of humor. She hadn't even smelled Dean she was so focused on Sam's scent. "Damn you need a hospital." He picked her up so gently.

"Just get me to your brother angel-bitch." She smirked weakly and laughed at Dean's shocked look. "I don't have a lot of time--" She cut off as another wave of pain spasmed through her. Dean thankfully didn't waste any more time and rushed her to the hotel room.

* * *

"Dean what the hell--" Sam cut off when he got a good look at the woman in his arms. "Ruby?" He breathed and took the broken body from Dean.

"Dude how did.." Dean trailed off as Sam gathered her up gently and held her close.

"I've missed you so much." Sam whispered in her ear. "Every--" He stopped when he felt a sob try to push it's way out. "What's wrong, what happen?" He asked when he had enough control over himself.

"You have to heal me, use your blood.." Ruby trailed off and Sam knew his eyes were filling with regret and anguish.

"I can't," This time he couldn't hold in the sob. "I died and the angels resurrected me... I-I'm not infected anymore." She winced at 'infected.'

"I'm so screwed." She buried her head in Sam's shoulder. "At least," She stopped, lifted her head and weakly kissed him. "I get to die here."

Sam's voice was thick with tears but the steel was clear, "Who did this to you?"

Ruby's eyes flew open and she looked around wildly, "Where's Dean," Dean came into their view he'd been trying to give them as much privacy as possible. "The traitor Dean is an angel that-that you.." Ruby's breathing became harsher. "You know them.. I don't.. but.." A scream ripped from her throat and she barely got out, "I love you, Sam."

Sam shook the limp body uncaring or completely forgetting that it was now a broken humans body. "I love you too."

She was barely a woman, more like a teenager as her eyes flew open and she began to struggle against Sam. "Let me go, what the hell, let me go." Her arms stilled and her eyes went wide. "They tortured me." She whispered.

Dean stepped forward as his brother got away from the girl, barely holding his tears in. "They can't hurt you anymore--"

"They kept cutting me open, they wanted me to tell them who the--"

"Listen to me," Dean grabbed her gently by the shoulders, not even applying pressure, "You are safe now. They will not hurt you anymore. We have to take you to the hospital." Dean waited, made sure she was still with him. "You cannot tell anyone what happen to you, do you understand. If you do," She started to drift from him, "Hey! If you do they will put you in the loony bin." Dean heard from behind Sam mumble.

"Yeah, that's going to help her calm down." He shot Sam a look but he was staring off into his own piece of space and Dean wasn't going to hold it against him.

"Do you understand?" She nodded weakly then looked up at him, wonder in her eyes.

"Are you the angel she kept thinking about?"

Dean looked away for a moment, he'd never dealt with someone who had been possessed before he needed Sam. "Sammy you need to get your shit together. I need help here."

Sam snapped his attention to Dean, "What do you need?"

"Help her to the car. I'm going to pack all of our stuff." Dean helped his brother up. "You know what to expect, you've saved more people from possession than I have." Sam nodded his head and determination set in his eyes.

"Let me," Sam got an arm around her waist and hefted her up, careful of the broken foot and arms. "Just try to clear your mind and think.." Sam's voice drifted out as he got her out the door.

Dean started shoving their belongings into their bags uncaring of what went into each bag, they'd get her to the hospital and then book it out of town. He headed out the door and caught the tail end of the girl telling Sam, "Safety first." Before she laughed a bit nervously, bordering on hysterically. Something started to bother Dean and the look Sam sent him over the roof didn't help matters.

"What's your name Sweetheart?"

"Not Sweetheart," She fumbled with her belt and Dean couldn't understand how she would want buckled in when she was in obvious--That was what was bothering him, not once had she--

Sam elbowed him and Dean shot him an annoyed look but Sam simply mouthed, "Later." Dean shivered unvoluntarily. Sam did the creepy thing again and had caught his thoughts.

"Edith, terrible name." She gasped in pain and Dean looked at Sam. "Fa-mily call me Eddy." Her voice broke on 'family' and tears welled up in her eyes. "You're Sam and Dean Winchester aren't you?"

"Yes ho--" Sam's confused look told Dean that he may have given the girl ailiases.

"They want you, they talk about you constantly. They say you're mucking with the future." Eddy stared out the window. "They talked about a traitor, they want their name too." Dean caught Sam's eye but his brother only offered, "Later," again.

Something was wrong, even Dean knew that she shouldn't remember this much. Unless Ruby had intentionally tried to torture this girl Dean knew that the vessel could be repressed completely. "How much do you remember?"

"Too much," Eddy's breath hitched and she brought her arm closer to her body. She wouldn't be safe if the demons thought there was anything to gain from her.

"Are you in pain?" Sam asked suddenly.

"This isn't anything--"

"That isn't your memory!" Sam shouted but stumbled out, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Dean got it now, why Sam hadn't wanted to explain anything. He'd been too busy shifting through her mind.

"Could've fooled me." Eddy fell silent and Sam didn't add anymore, Dean was left waiting and confused.

* * *

Dean and Sam were outside the hospital, Eddy was in surgery and if they knew what was good for them they'd get out of there before the police showed up. Eddy had been in a lot worse shape than either brother had realized. Right arm broken in three places, left shoulder dislocated, ankle twisted possibly broken. That was just bones. She had crude tattooing on her stomach and a laceration on her back. He was surprised that they weren't taken into custody the moment they stepped into the hospital but Eddy had been lucid enough, though she really shouldn't have been, to tell the doctors that she'd never met them before that the men had found her and rushed her here.

"Sam start talking what was the shit in the car." Dean demanded once they were away from the ER lights and the people that were gathered there. Damn weekend nights.

Sam clenched and unclenched his hands for a moment, "There was something wrong with her mind the moment I started--"

"You invaded her mind?"

"It's how I helped other ex-possessed I help them forget, in a way, what had happen to them. Sort of locked it away in their minds so it--"

"I get it, I get it. You were helping them."

"She was already processing what happen to her. She was filing it away for lack of a better word. She didn't even register how much pain she was in because Ruby's thoughts are all jumbled in with hers." Sam paused and Dean used it to cut in since he'd been biting his tongue to keep quiet.

"So Ruby left a going away present in Eddy's head?"

"Just very faint memories. I mean a lot of them will probably fade with time, but Dean some of the ones I saw.. I-" Sam stopped and for a moment Dean swore he saw actually fear in his eyes. Little boy scared fear, but it was gone with the next blink of his eye and Dean was sure he could convince himself he imagined it. "Her mind's like yours it's so organized and everything is in place. This isn't a present from Ruby, she had her mind filed like this long before possession. It's fascinating..." Sam was still new to reading minds and thankfully since his ressurrection there hadn't been any premonitions, they didn't know if they would still cause the splitting headache pain.

"I told you dude, I don't want to hear about my mind." Even though Sam claimed that he had enough practice with Dean's brain not to go invading it on accident didn't mean that it didn't freak him out to hear about his filing cabinet system.

"I'm just saying- never mind. Dean what are we going to do here?" Sam asked looking back at the hospital. "We got to make a decision before things get hectic."

"We should stay, answer questions and then make sure Eddy is going to be fine. It's the least we can do since we told her she couldn't say to anyone what happen to her." Dean looked at Sam and the younger man nodded his head.

"Yeah, we should stay." They headed back for the hospital in silence.

* * *

Sorry this took so long to get out. I suffered from crippling writer's block. This was actually longer, y'know in my _head_, but when I went to type or even just write it got all jumbled and twisted around. That's why there is an abpurt ending.. again, because I had an idea what Eddy was going to do, play in the story and then well... Things got weird and now I'm re-evaluating her purpose.

So it may or may not take me a little bit to get the next chapter up. I've got to abuse the muse, anyone seeing a pattern here with me an' muses? and then maybe something will happen.


	5. Chapter 5

Dean was waiting for Eddy to wake up, Sam was looking out making sure no one was coming. They had answered the questions like they should and now the police were just waiting for her to wake up. Her eyes flew open and she looked around wildly for a moment before landing on him.

"What are you doing here?" She whispered.

"We--" She winced at his normal level of voice so he lowered it, "We wanted to make sure you would be okay."

She actually rolled his eyes, "What the hell do you think?"

Dean shrugged his shoulders. "We can take you somewhere safe--"

"Me? You're the ones that the demons want." Dean had to bite his tongue to keep from snapping at her, this _girl_ really didn't get it.

Dean leaned forward, "Listen to me; you remember too much, you shouldn't remember the things you do. If _one_ demon catches wind that you have Ruby's memories," she shuddered and Dean did not want to know what she had thought of, "They will come back for you."

Eddy chewed on her lip, biting it until Dean was sure that she had drawn blood. He watched as her fingers twitched restlessly against the thin hospital blanket and finally they closed into fists. "You-you think that they'll find out?" It was the first time, the first, that Dean saw something akin to fear in the young woman's eyes.

He covered one of her fists with his hand, "We shouldn't take the risk."

"It'll be safe where you take me?" Eddy sounded so young, so helpless. Dean could feel tears pricking at the back of his eyes.

Dean nodded, "Yes, very safe." She nodded. "Sam get in here and help me." Sam came into the room and Dean could hear the sharp in take of breath come from Eddy, he wanted to know what was wrong but it didn't take long to figure it out.

"She loved you so much." Sam faltered in his step towards her bed, Dean felt a pang of guilt for all the ill thoughts he'd had of Ruby since he found out what she had done to his little brother. Eddy looked away embarrassed, "I'm sorry," she whispered and it sounded, to Dean, that she was _blaming_ herself for what happen to Ruby.

Sam took a hesitant step forward, "Don't be please," he stopped next to his brother, "It's alright."

Eddy nodded and then squared her shoulders and they could see her bringing herself together. "Let's get outta here," she moved her legs over the side of the bed. She gratefully accepted their help when they moved on either side of her.

Getting out of the hospital wasn't difficult, they slipped out through the heavily populated ER and were in the Impala within minutes. Dean tore out of the parking lot but with a sharp look from Sam, Dean slowed down realizing that they wouldn't be hard press to find cops around the hospital.

"Where are you taking me?" The car had been silent for a long time, the only sound was the vague mumbling of Led Zeppelin coming from the speakers; Dean hadn't even turned the volume up above a whisper. He had wondered when it would set in that Eddy was allowing two strangers to take her to an unknown location.

"Bobby Singer he's--well he's like a Dad to us." Sam's explanation brought a smile to Dean's face. "You'll be very safe with him."

"Okay," she said quietly.

"Eddy," Dean took a breath, unbelieving that he was actually going to ask, "What about family?" Sam glared, Eddy choked on a sob, and Dean felt like an ass.

Eddy fell silent and neither brother's said anything else until she was asleep. Dean quickly called Bobby belatedly realizing it was four in the morning when his gruff voice sounded over the connection. He explained what had happen and that they had another guest for him. Bobby made a comment about not being a home for the ex-possessed, but he told them he'd be expecting them. Once Dean snapped his phone shut it finally hit him what was going to happen when they got to Bobby's.

"You up for this?" Dean _really_ hoped that Sam just knew him too well and hadn't been snooping.

Dean shrugged, "Yeah."

"Sure?" Sam gave him a long searching look and Dean did the only thing he could think of and Sam laughed softly, "I wasn't--"

"Then how di--"

"Because you're shouting the lyrics to Ramble On." Both brother's broke into laughter but quickly sobered when Eddy shifted in her sleep.

"I'll be fine Sam, I talk to him on the phone almost every day. What's seeing him face-to-face?" Dean really didn't think it would be difficult, he didn't think of his angel when he thought of Josh, they were too different. Sam looked at him for another long moment and must have been satisfied with what he saw, or God forbid, heard. Neither said another word on the subject.

* * *

Bobby watched as the Impala made it's way up the road, Dean must have been trying real hard not to scare the woman since he was nearly inching up the old dirt drive. He looked at the walkie in his hands one more time before finally setting it down. It'd be better for both boys, or at least that was what Bobby was trying to convince himself. The car came to a stop and the boys got out, while Dean got the _girl_; dear God she was just a child, out of the car Sam removed a bulging bag from the other side. He chuckled, the boys must have pulled out all the stops to help her feel like she would be at home here. Dean helped eased the girl up on her feet, careful of the casted foot, and damn it Dean could have mentioned that she was in bad shape. He arranged her arm gently as she said something to Dean; it must have been in good humor as Dean smiled and laughed. He met them in the front room, and had them bring her into the living room. Sam put the bag down and helped his brother ease her onto the couch.

"Bobby this is Eddy Davis, Eddy Bobby." Dean made quick introductions, he noticed that his eyes scanned the room carefully.

"Hi Eddy," he stepped up to take her hand in his and saw how her eyes darted nervously around the room before settling on him. He wondered what would make her choose this option amongst all the other options she may have had. A sad thought occurred to him that maybe Eddy didn't have any place to go; she was so darn young.

"Thank you Mr. Singer for allowing me into your home," her voice was clear and polite.

"Bobby," he wasn't going through the 'Mr. Singer' crap again. She smiled slightly.

"Hey Bobby," the one time Josh didn't stay in the yard until he was threaten with bodily harm, great. His heavy boots kicked against the bottom step, "I don't think we'll need to replace the roof abo--" Josh stopped short when he came into the room and caught sight of the group. "Um," he looked at Bobby and the older man should have told him that they were coming.

Bobby hadn't been sure what sort of reception he was expecting but Dean broke what could have become quite the awkward situation. "Eddy," Dean spoke with none of the emotions that Bobby had been expecting, though he wasn't sure what he'd been expecting. He'd really never given thought to what would happen when Dean and Josh came face-to-face again. "This is Josh, another guest here."

"Hello," Josh gave a polite nod to the girl but Bobby saw something in his eyes before it was gone.

"Hi," Eddy was just as polite as she had been with Bobby.

Dean clapped his hands, "Alright," he startled the now three residents of Singer Salvage Yard, "Better be grub." Both boys looked dead on their feet and Bobby had half a mind to pull them to some beds by their ears and make them get some rest.

"Actually," Sam suppressed a yawn, "I'm going to get some rest."

"Maybe you should too Dean." He wasn't too old to drag the boy upstairs.

"I will, just feed me first." Dean waved off the concern and headed to the kitchen.

Bobby sighed, "You gonna--" He turned to Eddy but she was fast asleep sitting up on the couch.

"I'll take her to a room," Josh stepped forward quickly and he was pretty sure the Kid just wanted to get away. Yeah, sometimes Bobby Singer was an idiot.

Bobby followed Dean to the kitchen and found the young man rooting through the refrigerator. "Damn Bobby when did you get all this food?" Dean pulled out a roast they had prepared the day before, along with some pasta dish Josh had whipped up two nights ago.

"Josh gets it," Bobby sat at the table and watched as Dean began eating the cold noddles while waiting on the meat to heat up. "Though the Kid doesn't eat much." Bobby knew it was a low blow, mentioning Josh's neglect of his health to Dean, but he knew that the boy would talk to the older man. And Josh might actually listen.

"Whda m'an?" Dean asked around a mouth full of food.

No turning back _now_ Singer, "He forgets a lot. Spends too much time out in the yard." Dean nodded and Bobby thought that it was going to be the end of it.

"I'll talk to him." Dean said, his eyes wandering to the door, "You didn't tell him we were coming."

"Like I said, he spends a lot of time in the yard, didn't think he'd be back all day." Bobby busied himself with cutting some meat off for Dean.

Dean snorted, "You were just gonna let him work until we left?"

"Kid's doing good Dean, he doesn't need no complications." Bobby gave the younger man a good glare.

Dean looked crestfallen for a moment, "I'm a complication?" Bobby felt bad, Josh had never said anything of the sort and it wasn't fair to imply to Dean that he was.

"No," Bobby said quickly, "You're not." Bobby went through the automatic motions of making coffee, because he knew that if Josh did decide to come down and talk with Dean he'd want the brew. Kid was addicted to it.

"How are the other hunters doing?" Dean asked as a change of subject.

"Good," Bobby sat down across from Dean. "They call in every few days, give me an update, but for the most part I'm just letting them do it at their own pace. Their closing more than you two." He wasn't expecting Dean to go ridged and suddenly be on the defensive.

"We've got a _job_ to do. If those other hunters want to ignore those in need than they can, but we're going to help all those that need us." Dean shoved away from the table, plate only half finished, and stormed from the kitchen. Bobby sighed, Sam could have mentioned that it was a sore subject before enlisting the older man's help.

* * *

Josh got the young lady upstairs and in the bedroom closest to Bobby's, Eddy was going to need attention for some time. He wondered how Bobby planned on taking care of her but he was sure that the older man knew a doctor turned hunter or someone of the equivalent.

Something was bothering him about her, the moment he had laid eyes on her his skin had prickled and all his nerves felt like they had caught fire. He'd felt anger torwards the girl, hate. It scared him. What scared him more was that when she had looked at him he could see those emotions reflected. He left her room quickly and debated on whether or not he wanted to go back down stairs.

He couldn't believe that Bobby had not told him the brothers would be coming, he would have- would have... To be honest Josh wasn't sure what he would have done, but he was pretty sure it wouldn't have been to walk into the living room looking like a fish, gaping at Dean. At least he'd felt like that was what he had done. He leaned against the wall and took a deep breath, he was acting like an idiot. Josh decided to just disappear into the yard for a few more hours and hopefully the brothers wouldn't stay long.

Rarely Josh was immobile, if he was compensating for his lackluster performance in the field or that he felt compelled to show his appreciation for all that Bobby had done; he wasn't sure. But it felt strange to just _sit_ on the edge of the yard and watch the woods. He should be using this time to fill the orders that seemed to never end, or patch the roof, paint the trim, mow the lawn; he had a hundred things he could be doing.

"Hey," Dean dropped down next to him, "Sorry for the surprise."

"What happen?" Josh was sure it had something to do with why Dean had suddenly gotten off the phone the night before.

"When I was on the phone with you I saw a girl stumbling toward me, I thought she'd had a few too many, but then she went down hard and I had to make sure she was okay. It was Ruby," Josh didn't let it show but that flare of hate came back when Dean said the demon's name; a familiar feeling now that he thought about it. The way Castiel felt when he thought of or was around demons. "She died and left behind Eddy. Somethings different about her though--"

"She still has demon in her," Josh was aware that it was said with a bit more disgust than it should have been.

"How do you know?" It was apparent that Dean was aware of this and now Josh had to explain how he was aware of it.

"I could feel it in her," try as he might Josh could not keep the anger out of his voice and a little bit of hate leaked through too.

"Is it gonna be a problem?" Dean was looking at him, but Josh was making an effort to keep his eyes away from the hunter.

"Of course not," Josh scoffed, "She's only a child," and to Josh that was enough.

"Okay," Dean said easily. They fell to silence for sometime before Dean spoke up again, "You were going to say something last night before I hung up."

Josh tensed, "It was nothing." Dean snorted, "I-I-" He did not wish to have this conversation in person. "I think Castiel did something to me.. I think he changed me." Bobby had been trying to get him to say it for days now, ever since the hunt. "I see things, smell things, even feel things that I did not before. I feel connected to you Dean, I feel protective of you. It was why I needed to talk to you in the first place, I had to know you were okay each day."

"Oh," he knew that Dean had become very uncomfortable.

Josh laughed, "Don't worry it's nothing.. ah, sexual." He leaned back on his hands, relaxed for the first time in what felt like months, even though technically months ago he was still the vessel for an angel of the Lord. "More brotherly than anything else. You know Castiel was very careful to remove most memories of your time together."

"Most?" Dean practically squeaked.

Josh thought a moment, "He left me with the feelings that he felt for you. Love, protection, but not the ones that would cause potential problems." Josh had never thought it would be so easy to talk to Dean about these things. "Like lust and want. Which I am _very_ thankful for."

"Yeah same here," Dean said quickly.

Josh got to the heart of why he would even bring up such a potentially damaging conversation. "I want to ask you your opinion of something.. I want to contact another vessel, Azrael's to be exact or even Helez's would work, I just have to know if this is something that Castiel did or if it is all vessel's."

"I could ask Michael."

"No," Josh said quickly, "I don't want Castiel to get in trouble if he did this."

"I don't think C-as would get in trouble," Dean's voice broke on the angel's name but the men ignored it. "I think Mike knows that he's being punished enough." Josh looked at the younger man a moment before pulling him into a hug, Dean struggled a moment but then accepted it.

"One day you'll be with him," Josh whispered, "and he'll be waiting arms open for you."

Dean gently pulled away and Josh let him go, "Don't get all chick-flick on me now." He wiped discreetly at his eyes. "You think angel's have arms?"

Josh laughed, "I'm sure they have something of the equivalent." Josh stood and held out a hand for Dean. "You should be getting rest Dean not out here talking to me."

"Hey," Dean nudged his shoulder, "I like talking to you. If you're going to be worrying about my well being then you better start taking better care of yourself too."

"Bobby talked to you?" Josh's eyes narrowed, "I'm taking care of myself."

"Just remember to eat, please." They walked in silence for some time. "He said he'd carry me to heaven himself."

"Then," Josh said softly, "I suppose that is what he'll do." The companionable silence continued all the way to the house.

* * *

Oh Boy, this was a tough cookie of a chapter to write. I was _really_ nervous about Dean and Josh being physically in the same scene. I'ma scared that I'll end up giving a UST feel to it. But I think (fingers crossed) that I did not do that.

No fear my doves! The next chapter will bring us to... dundundun! Heaven! At least that is what is supposed to happen and if so then another chapter should be up soon. I wrote the whole meeting-back-up-with-Cas-in-Heaven chapter weeks ago. :) So until next time..


	6. Chapter 6

Castiel stood vigil, as he did most days, watching Dean. A humorless laugh escaped him, and for a brief moment he felt the concern of his brethren before it was masked. He still thought in the linear terms of Earth, as if each _moment_ spent in Heaven wasn't days flying by on Earth. He thought it was divine before his year spent below. The idea that time was endless in Heaven, that there was no start or end to a day, no passing of a week, and certainly nothing as concrete as a month. He watched his human as days passed on Earth and Dean easily, if not a bit slowly, fell into the routine of hunting again. His Dean was growing stronger by the day and Castiel's heart swelled with pride.

A nagging flash of worry skirted through his thoughts and he knew that at least one of his brother's had caught that last emotion. Truly Castiel felt loved knowing that his brethren worried so deeply about him but it was becoming tiresome the stares and whispers that seemed to follow him. He knew it was his own fault, staring down at Earth as if he wished desperately to join Dean there. He'd heard it on the edges of their minds for months now. If Castiel decided to fall could they catch him? If he went to rip his grace from himself would they be there in time to keep him from doing so? He wanted to tell them that they worried for no reason. Castiel would not dare fall to Earth; Dean was liable to kill Castiel if he did, and he was not prepared to be the guinea pig that discovered whether or not angel's could return to Heaven once they had fallen.

He could not tell them that their concerns were for nothing because he feared that they would also discover the secret that Castiel had so desperately worked at keeping away from them. He knew that the more he hid his thoughts from them the more their worry grew but they could not find out his deepest desire. Every moment that passed in Heaven brought Dean closer and closer to coming home to Castiel; he thought of the day, often, that he would be called by Raphael to retrieve Dean's soul and bring it to Heaven. He also thought of the looks and whispers he would receive after they discovered _that_ selfish day dream.

"Castiel," Ezekiel stood next to him gazing silently at the vastness of Heaven, "this is killing you."

"I am fine," he barely glanced at his brother. Between Ezekiel and Helez Castiel could not take much more of their concern. "I worry about him," it wasn't a complete lie.

"We worry about you brother," Ezekiel put a hand on Castiel's shoulder, "please take care of yourself."

Castiel scoffed and only felt a twinge of guilt for letting his frustrations show through. "I am an Angel of the Lord, exactly _how_ do I need to take care of myself?" Ezekiel did not offer any insight but finally left Castiel to his thoughts. His brother was the only one brave enough to even allude to the fact that they feared his falling.

If Castiel hadn't already known that his brethren _were_ splitting their worry between him and Azrael he would tell them to stop wasting their time with him. He worried about the young angel that had returned from Earth so changed. Tortured at the hand of their sister and he knew that something like nightmares of the ordeal still haunted Azrael but his brother refused to speak about them. Castiel wondered how much Azrael's decision to be the one to kill Sam still affected him, even though he'd been given the time to properly say goodbye to the human he knew that his feelings for Sam had grown tremendously in their short time spent together.

"Castiel," he turned to find Anna next to him, "Michael wishes to speak to you." Her brow was drawn tightly together and he knew that whatever Michael wanted to see him about was not good. Castiel followed her silent as always and ignored her open, smiling eyes. They did not speak often, Anna was consumed with her duties of searching for the traitor. How little they had realized their own was capable of, even with four of the highest ranking archangel's searching for them the traitor always seemed to be a step ahead.

"How is Dean?" Anna was the only one brave enough to ask about Dean, though Castiel suspected that it had nothing to do with bravery at all and everything to do with her love for the young man.

"Fighting well," was always his response and when Anna only had a nod for him he knew that what ever his superiors wanted it was not good. Anna always asked for more information.

Azrael was waiting with Helez and Castiel nodded politely to his brother's greeting. Anna grabbed both Azrael and himself into a tight hug and whispered, "I am sorry," to them before disappearing. Helez also took his leave without a word. Castiel shuddered involuntarily when they finally made it in front of Michael, Gabriel and Raphael, who's face was pinched into a frown of annoyance.

"Hello Brother's," Michael was ever stoic in stance and tone of voice and the annoyance on Raphael's face increased. Castiel suspected that the archangel would like, for once, if Michael allowed emotions to color his person. "It has been brought to our attention that your fellow brethren worry about you." Castiel's stomach rolled, and he had to force a hysterical laugh down. Angel's didn't have _stomachs_. He already knew where this conversation was going, he had heard the whispers from their brothers. He looked at Azrael and at once felt sadness wash over him; the younger angel was confused and had no idea what was to come. "We believe that it is doing more damage than good allowing you to watch over your respective charges." Raphael had given Michael the barest of glares at 'we,' and it was obvious that their 'united' front was nothing more than a show.

"No," Azrael gasped understanding finally sinking in, "please don't," tears welled in his eyes.

"Azrael Sam's time on Earth will be short, fast and watching from Heaven where time is meaningless is only serving to hurt you." Castiel was surprised when it was Raphael that stepped forward to speak but he could see in the older angel's eyes that it hurt him to point out those truths. And they were, two months had passed on Earth, he'd been keeping track, and already it had felt like eternity in Heaven. Sometimes it was but a distant, cold memory the feel of Dean's hands on his body. Though Castiel disagreed, watching Dean as he grew old and knowing when he'd finally join him would have made eternity seem worth it. Azrael wanted nothing of it and was gone in the blink of an eye. All three angels turned to him and watched him expectantly; he wasn't sure what they wanted from him.

"I will obey your orders," for a moment Castiel was sure that Michael was going to argue that there had been no orders.

"Thank you," he said instead. "Please try and talk to Azrael, we know that it hurts now but we are sure--"

"Stop saying _we_," Raphael snapped before disappearing. Gabriel smiled apologetically and too took his leave.

"Raphael has disagreed completely for this decision." Michael was weary and for the first time Castiel realized how _tired_ the archangel looked.

Castiel nodded, "I believe this is for the best," he was only starting to realize how much he thought that statement true.

For a brief moment Michael looked relieved, "thank you Castiel. You will try and speak to your brother?" Castiel nodded his head before also taking his leave.

* * *

"Dean," he turned at the sound of his name.

"Hey," was already spilling from his lips as he came face-to-face with a beautiful young girl. "What," he backed up a few steps, nearly falling into the lake behind him. "Who are you?"

The teen looked down at herself one eyebrow rose, "interesting."

"Michael, what the hell.."

"You called for me," the angel responded promptly.

"Yeah," Dean had waited for an answer almost the entire night before re-

"This is the safest way for us to communicate." Seriously, it was bad enough that Sam had taken to cutting off his thoughts before he was finished them, let alone saying them aloud.

"Okay. What's with the vessel?" Dean shifted uncomfortable and was so thankful that he'd been having a boring 'by the lake' dream.

"Your subconscious supplies the vessel, not I. You needed to speak to me?" Michael wasn't up for chit-chat apparently and Dean could see that he looked tired, at least that was what he thought. He didn't know if angel's could be tired.

"Ruby said I knew who the traitor was."

"Demon's lie," was Michael's quick response and Dean didn't have to say it it was as plain as day, 'Angel's do too.' Michael actually looked pained for a moment, sadness washed the bright blue eyes dark. "Dean I--" Michael stopped, "my actions have caused more pain then I ever dreamed," his voice was soft, strong and from the vessel she added something else to it that Dean couldn't even name. "But I cannot regret my decisions either. All that I have done was for the safety of everyone, human and angel alike."

Dean could barely breath, Michael stood before him and for a moment he was certain that he saw Michael, _the angel_. But the moment broke quickly and he knew he had to continue why he'd called for him in the first place. "I believe her."

Michael nodded, "I agree. I fear Dean that the traitor may be closer than anyone realizes." A beautiful girl like that should not be capable of the frown Michael marred her face with.

"You know it's an archangel, right?" Dean had an idea of where they needed to start looking now.

"We are less confident every moment that passes. We find them more elusive and _every_ turn leaves us with less." Michael sighed.

"Who haven't you looked at?" he was being cautious. Dean wasn't sure how his suggestion was going to go over. "What about Raphael, Gabriel and Anna?"

Michael's brow wrinkled in confusion, "but they're-they're.."

"Mike it's _someone_." Dean had _never_ heard an angel like Michael stumble over his words.

"I'll speak to.. Raguel, she is the only one I am sure I can trust. She wasn't plotting the fall of humanity while going through puberty." Dean laughed and then laughed even harder when he realized that Michael wasn't even aware that he had made a joke.

"Sorry," he sobered quickly when the angel began to look annoyed.

"Can I confide in you Dean?" He had been certain that the angel was leaving but suddenly Michael with the too innocent teenage face was right there again.

"Uh, sure.. but could I," he thought hard about the vessel that Michael had last been in and suddenly there was no more prom queen, "yeah that's better."

Michael also looked pleased to no longer be in the young, female vessel. "Angels are not all-knowing, not like Father or a prophet, but we the archangels have always had a glimpse of what is to come. Since our return to Heaven we have not seen anything of what is to come, no matter how hard we pray or how hard we try nothing comes to us. It is frightening to be so blind."

"What about God, doesn't he have anything for you?" He wasn't sure if there was some sort of protocol about talking about the Big Man.

Michael's head dropped, "it has been too long since my last conversation with my Father. He has been eerily quiet." He looked at Dean then and he saw fear in Michael's eyes. "I think we have angered our Father. I think that he allowed us to have a chance to prove that not only could angel's behave themselves but also be allowed to have some semblance of free will. And we failed."

"No man, I don't.. I don't think you failed. Free will isn't about making the _right_ decision, it's.." Dean trailed off, he hadn't given much thought to these things. "It's about making decisions and living with them even if they turn out to be the wrong ones. Angels aren't going to be any more perfect than humans."

The angel laughed, "I know a few of my brethren who would disagree with that statement." Dean was sure that Michael did, he didn't think the angels had got any less arrogant in the two and a half months since they had returned home. "Thank you Dean, for everything. You are truly a remarkable human, I don't think that I have given you the credit you deserve.. I have learned much from you," it didn't go unnoticed by Dean that it was _Michael_ that had learned from Dean and not '_we_.' The angel had a tendency for using plural pronouns, Dean didn't think he spoke often as an indiviual.

"Yeah, uh, thanks," he mumbled suddenly a little embarrassed by the praise.

"I need to return and speak with Raguel." Michael went to leave but Dean had one more thing he needed to ask about.

"How is he?"

It was there and gone too quickly for Dean to be sure but he thought he saw pain in Michael's eyes. "Castiel is strong," Dean didn't say that that didn't answer his question and Michael was gone before he could even ask for elaboration.

When he woke with a start Dean was left with a nagging feeling, and it had nothing to do with Michael's revelations or the fact that he'd deflected on Dean's questioning of Cas. He kept seeing the first vessel that his subconscious had supplied and the nagging feeling wouldn't go away even as he drifted back into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

Wow finding time to type is tough right now. It's hard to believe that I type faster than I write considering I have the next two chapters written out and now it's just a matter of finding the time to type them up.


	7. Chapter 7

Castiel needed to speak to Azrael but he feared that he did not know what to say that would help the young angel. Azrael's heart was broken and Castiel did not think he was the one that could help mend it.

"Get a hold of yourself," Helez slapped him upside the head. Castiel missed his once bashful brother, now Helez filled a room like his vessel had filled a room. Voice booming, thoughts open to all. "Castiel," Helez still had the quiet, calm force, "get a hol--"

"I do, thank you for your concern." Castiel gently stepped away from Helez's presense.

"I am sorry," Helez offered after they stood in silence for some time.

Castiel gazed over Heaven, "it was time," he said quietly. He wished the he had blood-warm arms, with a sense of solidity that he could wrap around himself. "Watching from here, as time moves rapid.. Michael was right. It was doing more harm than good. I-we did not need that." Castiel thought of his brother that had changed so drastically, so quickly.

"If you ever--"

"Thank you Helez, I will always keep you in mind." With a nod he took his leave. Castiel needed to speak to Azrael and help the young angel to understand that in time he would be with his Sam again.

He found Azrael far away from any other, alone and separated, holding himself tightly. As soon as Castiel touched down next to him he had his arms full of sobbing angel, he held him tightly gently smoothing his hand over his head, down Azrael's back; he whispered every comforting word he'd ever heard Mary Winchester whisper to her sons. For long moments that streched on and on they stood there embracing and Castiel allowed Azrael's tears to run there coarse before anything was said.

Finally Azrael spoke voice rough from the shuddering sobs, "I'll never see him again."

"That is not true Azrael." Castiel said softly keeping his firm hold on his brother, "we may not look down on them but one day they will join us in--"

"I do not want to see Sam in Heaven," Azrael ripped himself from Castiel's arms. The older angel had no idea what to say, he couldn't comprehend Azrael not wanting Sam in Heaven. "How could you want Dean to die?"

"I-I don't," Castiel tried to find the words to help Azrael understand, "but one day--"

"One day! There are not _days_ in Heaven Castiel. Two months! That is all the time that has passed on Earth, and already.. already." Azrael trailed off, the sound of tears in his voice, eyes shining. Castiel understood. Already it felt as if there had never been a war on Earth ragging. And he had thought that time on Earth had felt endless. "What if Dean was here, right now. Would you not feel guilt that you were unable to help him, keep him alive?"

The vicious, selfish thoughts that had been plaguing Castiel for.. eternity, ripped their way to the forefront of his mind and as the horrified look settled on Azrael's features he knew that he had failed in hiding it. "I want him here with me." Castiel wanted eternity with his Dean.

Azrael growled, "you are a selfish bastard." He took off before Castiel could say another word.

Castiel could not do this, Azrael was angry and full of hate and he needed someone capable of handling those emotions. Castiel was too full of his own anger and hate. No, his young brother needed someone else. He'd find Raphael, the archangel knew what to say, how to say it. Raphael would be able to help, and Castiel trusted him with Azrael.

* * *

His house guest weren't speaking and Bobby figured that it was a good thing. When on the very rare chance that they ended up in the same room with each other they wouldn't speak, look at, or even acknowledge the other. The one time they had spoken had been the morning after Eddy had shown up and saying it was hostile would be an understatement. Since then Josh had made it a point to get up even earlier than he was before and be out of the house before Eddy even came out of her room. It wouldn't have irked Bobby too much but neither of them were responding to his inquiries on the matter. He'd asked them several times if there was something wrong and even though he'd been use to the fact that Josh didn't like talking about his time as a vessel this was getting strange. Josh didn't want to talk about anything, not being a vessel or his obvious disdain towards Eddy, he didn't even want to talk about work being done to the house. The kid had completely shut down. He wasn't too worried about Eddy's obvious avoidance, she didn't know Bobby, he didn't expect her to confide in him. He'd given the young woman an auto just like he had done with Josh but she never used it. She would eat her breakfast in silence after a polite hello and then she'd asked which way Josh had disappeared, except she always said, "which way did _he _go?" Then Eddy would go in the opposite direction.

The familiar stomping on the bottom step signaled Josh's return and for once it was Bobby who couldn't believe it was lunch time already. These damn kids were causing him to brood and that was not good. As Josh came into the kitchen and started looking in the fridge he felt less and less guilty about his low blow of enlisting Dean's help, the kid hadn't needed reminding to eat in almost a week. There were one or two days here and there that Josh would get so caught up in what he was working on that day that it would be nearing dark before he'd come to eat dinner. Bobby was also trying to show some restraint and not mother-hen as much.

"How's it going out there?" he got a grunt for his troubles. "Alright," he hadn't meant to slam his down on the table but if Josh's sudden jump and him dropping the plate of chicken he'd taken out of the fridge said anything, it'd been a pretty hard smack.

"I'm sorry," Josh mumbled and he scrambled to pick up the ruined chicken.

"No," Bobby helped him and then took the plate to throw out the food, "I'm sorry. Jeez Kid, I didn't mean to scare you."

"You didn't, I mean.." Josh looked away and sighed before falling down into on of the chairs.

Bobby sat too, "just talk to me Kid."

"Every time-" he started but stopped and didn't continue until he'd taken several deep breathes. "Every time I look at her I can feel the demon pouring out of her, I try not to feel the hate that boils inside me but.. but I can't make it stop."

This wasn't what Bobby had been expecting. "Have you tried talking to Eddy?"

Josh scoffed and gave Bobby a glare, "of course not. You saw what happen the first and last time we spoke."

Bobby counted to ten, the damn kid was in his thirties, avoiding a problem like middle school drama was ridiculous. "You should talk to her. Maybe you two can work these problems out. I'm sure neither of you want to hate the other, especially if both of you plan on living here." Josh shrugged his shoulders and this time Bobby checked himself not to overreact and try and destroy the old table. "Kid, talk to her."

"Yes, yes. I heard you," Josh stood up and left the kitchen. Bobby growled under his breath, damn kids were going to be the death of him.

* * *

I know that for the chapters that I usually deliver you that this is short and disappointing (well that might just be me, I'm disappointed in it) but I've spent the day re-working the outline, since that one I had had pretty much been thrown to the side since Chapter one. Now I have a much better outline that is on track as far as where I want this story to go and now includes Eddy, who wasn't in the original planning, she sort of popped up out of no where.

No fear the next several chapters will be action packed and revealing.. hehe, I think we know what will be revealed... hm, re-read that, you all might be thinking Cas/Dean reunion, not what I mean! :) So I hope to have the next chapter up soon.


	8. Chapter 8

"Azrael," his brother approached him, open arms, Azrael leaned into the comfort thankful for it. He'd prayed for one person to understand, he'd thought that would Castiel. He'd been sadly mistaken. "I want you to know I fought against it, but Michael would not listen to me." His brother petted his hair softly, "they did have a point though little one, Sam's time will be short on Earth, with the job he has taken on it will be no surprise when he shows up here."

Azrael's heart seized, "I want to help them, I am stronger now."

"Yes," the angel smiled warmly and patted his back gently, "you are _much_ stronger now."

He beamed at the praise, "thank you Gabriel," it warmed him inside.

"Azrael," Gabriel said softly his hand never stopping it's soothing movements, "what if I told you there was away for you to be with Sam again. Be with him again _before_ he dies."

"What would you have me do?" he tripped over the words and the smile Gabriel gave him was so very proud.

"The very first thing you must do," Gabriel leaned very close drawing Azrael in, "is convince Castiel to go with you." He leveled a patient look on the young angel and Azrael felt so proud that Gabriel was trusting him. "If anyone should find out..." Azrael understood what would happen.

Azrael knew that he would have to be careful with Castiel, his righteous brother would run off to the other superior's if he was not careful. He knew he had to convince Castiel that this had been his plan, that he figured it out on his own. Azrael was hoping that Castiel would realize how much he needed his Dean and then this would fall into place easily. He'd have to also be careful because for whatever reason Castiel wanted Dean in Heaven. Azrael couldn't understand why, he wanted to _hold_ Sam in his human form with blood warm arms and strong, steady heartbeat under his ear. He wanted to _taste_ Sam, fell Sam the way Castiel had with Dean.

Selfish bastard Castiel.

"Castiel," he dropped down next to his brother, "I am sorry for what I said to you."

He smiled warmly, "it is alright my brother," he put an arm around Azrael, "I understand that this is hard." Azrael allowed a comfortable silence to fall over them, he was just about to speak when Castiel continued. "I cannot say that it hasn't crossed my mind; what having Dean in my arms would feel like again. It-it feels too long."

"What if you could feel it again?" Azrael asked cautiously.

Castiel sighed, "I try not to think of things like that."

Azrael gently pulled away from Castiel so he could look him in the eye, "I could get us to Earth without any of the superiors knowing." Azrael could see the decision already forming in his brother's mind. That even though Castiel wanted eternity with Dean the thought that he could have in a human sense again was too strong. Castiel bit his lip and the younger angel had to check his glee.

"It's impossible," he whispered, nearly heartbroken.

"No brother," Azrael leaned in closer, "it is not." Castiel looked at him with _hope_ in his eyes.

* * *

Eddy loved the yard, loved walking among the old cars, loved being out in the open; oddly enough. She hated that she was still wearing a cast on her foot even though she knew it was healed, had been for a few days now. She didn't know how to tell Bobby, she wasn't even sure she wanted too. It'd only been three weeks and even she knew that that wasn't enough time for her foot to heal or the lacerations on her back. Eddy was scared that Bobby would think she was something evil now. And she was so grateful to Bobby for allowing her into this little peace of mind. She didn't want to lost this. Bobby had even generously given her a car but she didn't feel any need to leave this place.

Strangely enough she _missed_ the Winchester brothers. Even though their time together had been relatively short all things considered; those boys had saved her life. They were to thank for her having this home.

If only she could get over the burning rage she felt whenever she even _thought_ about the other guest staying at the Singer home. Their first meeting was still very clear in her mind. As soon as her eyes had met his, she knew that some_thing_ inside her hated Josh with all she had in her to hate with. And that feeling was mutual. Eddy hadn't even been able to muster a polite 'hello,' it had come out snide and rude. His introduction hadn't been any better. Poor Bobby had been very confused by the whole scene.

The kind, older man had tried to speak to her but she had been able to deflect any questioning. Bobby hadn't been pleased, but Eddy just didn't have a choice. The last thing she wanted was for Bobby to know she fantasized about killing Josh. The images that came to mind made her shudder, brought tears to her eyes. Before the demon she'd never thought like that, she'd been a good person, with good thoughts. And she knew hating the vessel of an angel couldn't be good, couldn't be _right_.

But he hated her too.

"Fuck," she kicked violently at a tire, it should have hurt more. If Ruby hadn't already been dead Eddy was sure she would kill the demon-whore herself. She fell to her bottom, folded her knees to her chest, and buried her head in her folded arms. The first sob surprised her and the rest that followed were liberating.

Strong arms wrapped around her and for a moment, before the smell hit her, she was relieved. "Get off me," she growled pulling herself from Josh's arms. She wasn't sure what was worse, that the concern in his eyes was genuine, or the fact that the hate that burned inside her was diminishing in him.

"Are you okay?" he reached out a hand but dropped it quickly when Eddy hissed. A noise that even surprised herself.

"I _was_ fine," she jerked herself to her feet and started to walk away. Damn smelly vessel-

"Eddy could we talk, please?" she stopped in her tracks, Josh sounded tired, weary.

"What about?" Eddy crossed her arms tightly over her chest.

"About what's going on between us," Josh ran a hand down his face, "we can't continue this dance."

"I like it just fine," she shifted from one foot to the other, suddenly conscious of the fact that she didn't have her crutches and Josh had to have noticed.

"Don't act like a child," Josh snapped.

Eddy felt hot-fury uncurl in her stomach, "I _am_ a child," she shouted. When Eddy's fist connected with Josh's face the satisfying _crack_ of his jaw made her grin.

"What the-" he tried to restrain her but they were both a bit stronger than the other had been expecting. Eddy easily broke the hold and kicked him away. Eddy had never taken a lesson in fighting her entire life but suddenly she knew where to hit, how hard to kick. All of it. Josh for his part was trying to block each blow and it only served to make her more angry. She was sure that he wasn't the kind of man that hit a woman, teenager at that, but she wasn't going to give him much choice. He began to fight back, but it was obvious that he was pulling his punches.

Eddy was going to have to change that. "What's it like," she whispered close to his ear when she finally got him pinned against a car, "knowing Dean still thinks about screwing your body."

When his elbow connected with her nose the spurt of blood was nearly instantaneous; when Eddy smirked her teeth were tinted red, she'd bit her tongue from the force of the hit. "Fuck you demon spawn," Josh spit his own blood on the ground.

Eddy couldn't help but laugh, "yeah but I bet it wasn't half as bad as bei-" the punch to her stomach caught her off guard but she was quick not to get distracted again.

The fight turned dirty towards the end, Eddy threw a handful of gravel into Josh's eyes and in retaliation he grabbed her by the ponytail at the nap of her neck and snapped her head back. It wasn't until she heard the unsettling _pop_ of Josh's shoulder becoming dislocated that they finally fell away from each other. The sat panting leaning against their own respective piece's of scrap metal.

"I-think-my-finger.. Damn it!"

"Screw your finger, you dislocated my shoulder," he winced when he prodded it gently. "Want to talk now?"

She wiggled her pointer finger and thought that maybe it wasn't broken. Eddy looked at Josh sitting across from her in obvious pain, her dark eyes soften a bit. The guy really looked like he wanted to resolve this. "Yeah I guess, y'know, I can try and act like an adult." She hoped he heard it as the apology she meant it to be.

"I don't want to be enemies Eddy," he said sincerely, "I'd like if we could be friends."

Eddy hated that she actually had to think about it, but there was part of her that just couldn't look at Josh without seeing red. "Why did this happen to us?" she let her head thunk against the car behind her. "I didn't ask for this bullshit, I just.. I just..."

"I did," he said it so quietly that she could have missed it, "I asked for salvation and was chosen to be a vessel."

A laugh closer to a sigh escaped her lips, "we're the most fucked up people in the world."

Josh actually forced a small smile on his face, "we should talk to Bobby."

"Why?" she knew it was almost a whine.

"There is obviously something wrong with us." Josh stood carefully having to keep his left arm still.

"Sorry about the arm," she mumbled.

"Sorry about the nose," he smiled gently.

Eddy touched it gingerly, having completely missed the fact that it was possibly broken, definitely more broken than her finger. "Forget about it. Do you-" she stopped, "Do you think it's something _wrong_?"

"It definitely isn't right." They were careful not to touch each other and made their way slowly back to Bobby's house.

* * *

Sam watched the dark sky a familiar thought on his mind, was Azrael watching? He'd been thinking about the angel a lot these days, wondering how different things would be turning out if their respective guardians had been allowed to stay with them. A part of him had hurt since he was told that Ruby had been sent back to hell, and that part had grown larger when she died in his arms. But there was a place inside him that had been torn out when he was told that Azrael would not be staying with him. During their time as Beriah's playthings he'd allowed thoughts of Azrael being his guardian angel to help heed the darkness building in him. Sam had imagined what it would have been like to have a confidante like that. He sighed and ran a hand down his tired face, no use in think them _now.  
_

Tired, it was a constant state for the Winchester brothers these days. Between trying to close doors and doing jobs, something Dean would _not_ budge on, period; the were wearing themselves down. It was a battle that was always raging between them.

"Sam what are you doing?" Dean called from their motel room.

"I'll be in in a minute," he called over his shoulder. He heard Dean grunt and the door shut. Sam looked at the dark sky one more time before pushing himself off the side of the impala.

"What were you doing out there?" Dean was leaning against his head board, laptop open on his lap.

Sam sighed and grabbed some clothes to take into the bathroom. "Thinking about Azrael," he said absently.

"Yeah?" Dean wanted more details.

Sam sat heavily on his own bed, "I was thinking about how things would be different if they could have stayed."

"Oh," Dean looked away and Sam felt a little guilty reminding his brother of who he'd lost.

"Sorry," he offered lamely.

Dean shrugged his shoulders. "I think about him everyday but it hurts less and less each day too." He threw Sam a wicked grin, "so you were sweet on your angel?" he waggled his eyebrows.

"Dude," Sam gave him a look and Dean sobered quickly.

"Yeah," he rubbed at the back of his neck, "inapporiate."

Sam stood and went to shower. He sure missed the good old days, 'good' being an oxymoron and 'old days' being the operative words.

"Got us a hunt on the way to New Orleans," were the first words out of Dean's mouth when he reentered the room. Sam bit down on his tongue, there were four gates in New Orleans, practically a breeding ground for demons at the moment and damn it Dean _still_ wanted to hunt. "Don't think it's anything big, reads like a text book spook," Dean didn't even realize how pissed off Sam was becoming. "We could have it done within the day."

"Seriously," Sam finally snapped, "we've got twelve doors left. Four of which, why do I even have to remind you, are in New Orleans. What the hell is your problem?"

Dean pursed his lips together, "Sammy we aren't talking about this." Same song, same dance.

"Fuck Dean every job we do we fall a little farther behind. More and more demons are getting out," Sam hadn't meant to raise his voice but by the end he was shouting.

"Sam," it was a warning but Sam didn't care.

"No Dean, two and a half months have passed, all your jobs are getting in the way." Sam wanted to stop but the fire had been lit now and he wasn't sure he could.

Dean's eyes narrowed then became resigned, he'd made a decision. "Sam I've got to tell you something," the pause put him on edge. "Michael asked us to continue doing our job."

"He ordered us you mean." Sam couldn't believe after everything Michael had done, "how can you even trust him?"

"Dude," Dean rose an eyebrow, "it's Michael."

"So what?" Sam was riled now, "Cas knew Uriel for over two thousand years and look what happen there."

"Michael isn't a traitor!" Dean shouted and Sam knew that his older brother questioned a lot but this was one thing that Dean knew for sure. "If you don't believe me look for yourself," he gestured wildly to his head.

"Okay," Sam held up his hands in surrender, "he isn't I believe you." He knew his brother wouldn't let him in unless Dean was certain. "I still think we're wasting time."

"People need our help," he shut the computer with a little force, "and we gotta help them." He snapped his light off.

"Right Dean," Sam sighed and laid down on his own bed. It didn't matter that it felt like they were hurting them more.

* * *

Okay I am like ten times nervous right now, first and foremost I'd like to say I am as worried about Azrael as the rest of you. And if I didn't know how this was going to end well I'd be pissed. So just keep that in mind :) Second, I had the hardest time, no like seriously a really hard time, trying to figure out who to make the traitor. I debated for days before I even started writing this sequel, I re-read all of HF and then I narrowed it down to either Gabriel, Michael or just fall back on Zacriah (or however you spell that) and I knewknewknew it couldn't be Michael he'd already started to form such a significant part in the later chapters and I didn't want to do Zac since this went AU before he showed up and after spending an insane amount of time discussing it with myself I decided that Gabriel had been sneaky and underhanded enough in HF that he'd work. And thirdly was the fight between Josh and Eddy, I had to do it because honestly I was going to kill her and re-work a lot of the chapters because any time those two ended up in a room together.. well, yeah it always got a little XXX, so one day I'm fiddling with the beginning of Eddy's part and the next thing I know they were kicking each other's asses. Now they totally work and have a sibling feel to them, yay!

Sorry I gots rambly!


	9. Chapter 9

Bobby was sitting on the porch when he finally caught sight of his charges coming up the lane. He jumped to his feet in an instant, it was damn near midnight and they'd never, neither of them stayed away from the house that long. He was just about to lay into them about worrying him to death, he walked all over the yard trying to find them, when he noticed that Josh was keeping his arm pinned awkwardly to his body and Eddy was gingerly holding her nose.

"Great Almighty you two look like hell," he yelled when he saw their black eyes and Josh had a nasty bruise spreading down his cheek up under his chin. "I said talk to her you idgit, not beat her up!"

If Eddy's strong voice hadn't broken through his anger Bobby was ready to give the man another good blow. "I started it Bobby," she said her eyes looking between him and Josh who looked ready to protest. "Swear, Josh was only defending himself until I started provoking him."

Bobby turned to Josh, "and what in the hell could a teenager say to you that made you hit her back?" Both of their faces flooded crimson and he held up his hand. "Wait," he said closing his eyes, "I really don't want to know that, do I?"

"Trust me," Josh mumbled.

He sighed, really Bobby had no one to blame but himself; he'd told the boy to talk to Eddy. He just hadn't expected it to come to blows. "Get yer asses inside. Lets see what we can do about that shoulder and nose." They made their way up the stairs, "and you young lady can explain why you don't have your crutches."

"Shit," she breathed.

Josh let his hand fall onto her shoulder for the briefest moment, "don't worry," he said before pulling away. It didn't go unnoticed that it was like they both had been burned.

After the shoulder was popped back into place and Bobby had Eddy's nose set best he could he had them sit down in the living room with him in between them. "Start slow and don't leave nothing out."

Josh looked at Eddy and Eddy shrugged her shoulders. "We've been changed by our respective guests. You've noticed and I won't insult you farther by trying to pretend that there isn't anything wrong with me. We're both stronger, faster than we were before; we know things we hadn't before. It's unique to me, I was able to contact Azrael's vessel, and though he had more memories than was to be expected he was not changed in any way."

"You talked to another vessel?" Bobby cut in.

"I had to know," he said strongly, "if there was something wrong with me." Bobby wasn't sure how he felt about Josh's choice of calling it 'wrong.' It sounded more like something had gone awry but he wasn't quite seeing what was wrong about it. "When Eddy came here I could feel the demon that was left in her."

Bobby's eyes snapped to the young girl but she was looking shamefully at her feet. "Eddy?" he called her softly.

"Like Josh said, I'm stronger, faster. I know things that I hadn't before, how to fight, how to hurt someone." Bobby felt for this young girl as she looked at him with pleading eyes. "I don't want to be like this. I don't want to look at Josh and wonder what his blood would look li-" she cut herself off with a small gasp and covered her mouth. "I'm not evil," she bit through clenched teeth.

"Damn it child I know that," the shock of everything caused him to be a lot more harsher than he wanted to be. Softly, "Eddy of course you are not evil."

"I feel evil," she said before looking away.

Josh saved her from having to say anything else by speaking up, "I think it would be best if you went and got some sleep." He said softly to her. She nodded jerkily before standing and leaving the two men alone. "I'm sorry for dumping all of this on you at once."

Bobby shook his head, "don't worry about it Kid. Trust me those crazy brothers have shocked me a lot worse than this. Is she gonna be alright?" Josh watched where Eddy had disappeared to, Bobby saw a new look in those eyes. A fierce protection he'd seen in Dean's gaze many times when the boy looked at his brother. Bobby hid his groan, it was just what he needed. Another man willing to do anything for family. "You don't do nothin' stupid," he said sternly.

Josh looked at him, "I will try and keep that promise." He stood then and walked from the room. Bobby leaned back in the chair he was seated in and sighed. Damn kids were going to be the death of him.

* * *

Dean woke to the sound of Sam moving around the motel room. He cracked in eye open and groaned at the sharp sunlight coming through the open door. "What the hell are you doing?" he croaked.

Sam was stuffing clothes into his bag, which was weird on it's own. They rarely kept their shit in bags anymore, a change of clothes came in with them and the dirty ones went in the laundry mat pile. Which was becoming ridiculously large since they were both stubborn as all get out and weren't slowing down to eat let alone wash dirty clothes. What was stranger was the determined look in his eyes, the same eyes that were avoiding contact with his at all costs. "I've got a rental, I'm going to go ahead and start on the New Orleans doors. You can handle this hunt, right?"

"Yeah," Sam nodded his head once, "but dude can you handle the gates on your own?"

Sam rolled his eyes, "don't worry about me, alright."

"Of course I'm going to worry about you Sammy. You want to go off and close gates to Hell on your own!" Dean hadn't meant to start shouting.

"I can handle myself Dean," Sam spat. "I've taken care of myself before."

"I know that Sam, but we shouldn't split up." Dean wasn't going for this, no matter how bitchy Sam got.

He knew his brother was repressing the urge to roll his eyes. "The faster we get this done the sooner we can go back to doing our job." Sam was at the door with his hand on the knob, "be careful Dean."

"Sammy please, man we need to think this through." Dean knew he was pleading and couldn't bring himself to care.

"Look, maybe the sooner we get this done the sooner we'll stop being Heaven's bitch." Sam looked at Dean, "be careful." He pulled the door open and Dean knew it was force of will that kept it from slamming shut.

Dean threw his fist and he couldn't have been happier that there weren't any angelic healers around to make the pain go away. He should have known that Sam wouldn't be satisfied until they were done and pass this. He held his slightly swelling hand with the other, damn it he was an idiot, fighting alone with a sprained wrist. He gathered the change of clothes that he'd brought in with him and stalked out of the room; there was not any reason to bother with cleaning up. He had a feeling it was going to be one of those days.

* * *

*cough* yeah, it's very short, and disappointing, but you know how sometimes holes in plots will open up. Yyyeaah, hmm. That sort of happened here. You see I write most of this down and then type it, but there are things I write on the fly. Well, those things on the fly, grumblegrumble, screwed me up. So if it doesn't flow and feels strange from the last chapter I apologize. The whole thing is I forgot about them actually talking to Bobby, and I felt that it was important and could not be ignored.

On a happier note! The next chapter is finished and will be posted tomorrow or Monday!

Also me and the muse have been fighting again, stupid bugger that it is. I gave it a freaking five course meal and it still wouldn't talk to me so... I've been begging. Hopefully it'll see that I'm sorry and I don't mean to call it a bugger and tell it that I will not listen to it, no matter how brilliant it's ideas are from time to time. I should also probably stop saying I'm going to bury it with the last muse if it doesn't start agreeing with me.

Toodles, and thank you you guys rock!


	10. Chapter 10

The frown on Raphael's face was deep as he watched the Winchester brother's fight their battles, separated and without the other every blow caused _fear_ to spike in the archangel. Dean took an impossibly strong hit and he found his fingers twitching to reach out, help, protect, save. He knew the abomination was whispering taunts, half-truths, maybe even out right lies, but it's evil couldn't reach him in Heaven. A burn ached in him to tare the monster apart and protect Dean. A shifting of focus and he was watching as Sam struggled in the grasp of the demon he'd been fighting for too long. Unprepared and alone Sam buckled under the demons power; forgetting, still riding the high of crushing Demons in the grasp of his fist Raphael could not determine, but Sam was losing. His hands clenched into fists and he cursed his brother and his decisions and everything that was the archangel Michael.

Suddenly the creature and demon were no more in a blinding light and Michael was at his side. "Now," Michael fixed a stern look on him, "all the brethren know your disgust with me."

Raphael felt ashamed, "my apologies brother. I-I didn't realize.." he shook his head.

"That you were allowing your thoughts to run wild and you cursed my name a dozen times." Michael turned to watch the confused brothers. "As if," he sighed, "morale wasn't low enough."

"Again," Raphael placed a hand on his weary brother's shoulder, "I apologize and I will make sure the brethren understand that those thoughts were.." He sighed, "just thoughts." Raphael was acutely aware how much his brother was changing, how much the war and the resulting aftermath was beginning to wear him down. He could only pray that Michael would seek out one of them, and a selfish part of him wanted to be the one sought, and finally talk about all that was happening. But also Raphael knew his brother and knew that it would be a long time coming before he felt he could speak to any of them. Michael would forever feel like it was his responsibility to be the rock in their storm.

Michael looked at Raphael, "do you miss it?" It only took a glance at Michael's mind to see what he missed. He couldn't help though in that glance seeing that there were many parts that Michael kept locked away now.

In an age so long ago that Raphael had a hard time remembering it clearly, when Michael, Raphael and Gabriel were the only ones and they were what could have been called best friends. When they laughed and frolicked, he chuckled, "sometimes." Raphael pulled his brother close, not caring for once how much Michael hated physical contact. "I miss how much time Father spent with us then. I miss how we had no cares. Before all of our other brothers, before Lucifer became corrupt. Of course I miss it." Raphael kissed Michael's temple and his older brother pulled from his embrace.

"I have.. to go." Michael was gone and Raphael sighed. There were many things he missed.

"That was quite the show you put on for us," Gabriel replaced Michael at his side. "Some colorful language you possess brother."

Raphael felt his wings prickle, a common feeling these days whenever his brother Gabriel was near him. He thought it had something to do with the increased teasing coming for the usually stoic archangel. "I do not need your opinion on the matter Gabriel." He looked quickly but if his brother had snickered Gabriel's face was composed when he looked at him.

"You would be wise not to piss Michael off. We still haven't found our traitor." Gabriel's face was a mask of indifference and if Raphael had had blood it would've been boiling.

"You _do not_ speak of Michael like that," he hissed in Gabriel's face. "Do you understand me?" he was gone before he could do something truly regretful, like start a fight with Gabriel. If his anger had not been so over whelming he would have not missed Gabriel smirking and chuckling lightly, somethings were just too easy to do, flitting across his mind.

* * *

Michael was preparing for his journey to earth when his sister, as she wanted to be referred to now, stood beside him. "Be gentle with them," she said, "they need kindness and soft word."

Michael ignored her at first, there was a common ache between his eyes. "I know how to handle a few mortal men." He said to his sister and hoped he sounded no where near how tired he felt. The idea that these two _mortal_ men were causing a headache in the archangel was simply laughable.

"They are not just any normal men," Raguel pointed out the obvious.

The brothers made him grit his teeth and he was finding what the phrase 'to bite ones tongue' meant; yes, he knew all too well that these were not normal men. "I assure you Raguel my intentions are not to upset them." They frustrated him, angered him and even on their better days, amused him. And he did truly want to understand them better and he how no intentions of purposely trying to hurt them.

"I'm just trying to help." She frowned and touched his arm softly and it took much willpower not to wrench from her hand. "Michael do not push yourself so hard. You are not alone."

"I must go," he pulled from her and left without another word.

Michael knew that it's the love they have for each other. It twisted something inside him, those memories he had of when he and his own brothers had that love for one another. Before brothers began to fall and wars were fought. He didn't remember the beginning as one single piece of time. He remembered emotion; love, learning, obeying, love, lonely. He'd barely recognized _lonely_ when Raphael and Gabriel were created and they had all of Heaven to themselves. Slowly more and more angels were created and even more after Lucifer fell.

He stood there in their respective dreams and mostly he felt sadness for there was an emotion, a burning need, that he could not understand. He doubted he ever would. How they loved the angel's they dreamed of. It was almost torture to wake them, lecture them, he wished he didn't have to but a warning needed given.

"Brothers," he cleared his throat. The scenes before him changed quickly; Dean's taking shape with ease as Sam's struggled. Still Michael was impressed, Dean's first visit had been awkward.

"C'mon Mike that was dirty," Dean was looking between him and his brother.

"I am sure with your injuries a break would suffice," to prove his point he made them feel their pains.

"Okay okay," Dean rubbed at his shoulder where a bullet had grazed him, "point made. What gives Michael?" Michael looked between the two brothers, two men given impossible tasks and they had accomplished them with strength, resilience and faith. "Dude?" Michael snapped from his musing annoyed with himself that he'd allowed his mind to drift.

"My apologies brothers," Dean muttered something about him definitely acting strange. Michael ignored the comment and went on with why he was there. "Why would you split up?" he questioned. "Do you not see the dangers around you?" They frustrated him so much.

"We're just trying to get things done more quickly," Sam braved.

"Do you think it an accident you two were put together here?" It seemed forever ago, and it probably was, that his Father had told him the story of the Winchester brother's who one day would be called on to save the world.

"What?" Dean looked at his brother.

"You two come from an incredible bloodline, you would be wise to remember that." He could still hear Raphael in his head telling him that he had no confidence in the brother's and their abilities. Too many arguments with his brother about strength, faith and that the brother's would have kept their respective angel's safe.

"C'mon Mike you didn-" Something in Michael's eyes was cause enough to groan and he felt guilty for interrupting Dean's intimate moment to appease himself.

"I am sorry and technically I have not waken you." Sam let out a humorous snort but Michael did not find the humor in his words.

Dean fell back with a growl, "then get out of my dreams." The bed and Castiel were back in the blink of an eye and Michael removed Sam and himself from the dream.

With Dean gone the dreamscape flickered before they found themselves in the childhood home of the Winchester brothers. Michael suppressed a shudder, too many times he'd witnessed the tragedy that had happen here. Every time hoping he'd be able to see a way that it could have been different. Torturing himself with things that could never be changed, he wonders what his brethren would think of that.

Sam stood there rubbing at his neck looking confused and lost and the only thing keeping Michael from leaving was that he could see that the young man needed to talk. Michael was not like Raphael, he could not read a humans body language just as easily as their mind, but he new the desperate look in Sam's eyes.

"Dean did not see me as you do," he hoped it would ease some of Sam's confusion and embarrassment.

"Why the hell do you.. you.. look like that?" Sam asked gesturing wildly to the 'body' that Michael had appeared to him as.

"The subconscious chooses the vessel," he answered easily.

"How does Dean see you?" Sam asked quickly.

"It is different each time." Sam fell heavily onto the couch behind him and Michael too took a seat, surprise came to Sam's eyes but he did not say anything.

"You," Sam rubbed his face roughly, "you look like my dad."

"Then think of me as someone else," Michael was amazed by his patience, only moments ago the brothers had been grating on his nerves. Maybe it had something to do with the naked emotions playing over the younger Winchester's face.

Sam closed his eyes, a human tick that Michael did not understand all too well, but when he opened them again Michael still sat there as John Winchester. "I guess.." he trailed off helplessly.

"You have something on your mind," Michael stated in hope of distraction Sam from the situation.

The flood gate opened and Sam rushed out, "how is Azrael, is he alright, does he have nightmares?"

Michael held up a hand to stop the onslaught of questions, "your angel is healing." He wished that he could feel something for lying so easily to the mortal, but Sam needed to focus and worrying about Azrael's well being was not going to help that. Sam's entire face lit up at the word 'your' and Michael prayed that he was making the correct decisions.

Sam glanced away and Michael knew that he was not done questioning the archangel's ord-suggestions. "Shouldn't we be focusing more on the gates?"

"Hunters are much like angels, Samuel, they have been around for countless centuries and they learn more and more with each passing generation. They are vigilantly watching for Demon activity and none of them are ignorant to the fact that the apocalypse has been diverted for now. My cursed Brothers have few options open to them and they know that moving with out plan will only result in defeat, hopefully ultimate defeat." Sam was quiet after Michael's words and the angel would wait him out because he knew that the young mortal was still weighed down by something.

Finally he said, "I want to trust you, I do," he looked at Michael pleadingly, "but it feels like you are being purposely unhelpful." In that instant Michael knew that it wasn't Sam's need to close gates and keep demons from pouring on Earth that kept him questioning, but his experience with other angels and the lies and deceit they had shown the brothers.

He was surprised by the sadness this revelation brought him. "I wish that I could convince you that I am not like the angel's you have been tortured by. I wish you had never experienced such blinding hatred from my brethren." More proof that the angels were failing their father.

"I _do_ know you are not like-like her." Sam's voice began to tremble, "I'm scared Michael. I remember that day, I remember the feel of her blade cutting away my skin." Sam rubbed absently at the marred flesh on his shoulder. "I can still _feel_ her taking Azrael's thoughts," he shuddered voilently.

Michael was next to Sam in a blink, hand awkwardly on his shoulder, right above the scarred flesh. "I can take away those memories."

"No," it was a shaky reply and Michael was going to ask again, "no I don't want that. I-I.." Sam sighed and leaned forward, elbows digging into his knees, and head heavy in his hands. "I don't know why, but I think they'll be important later."

"As you wish," he moved his hand around the broad shoulders and it spoke volumes when the young man leaned into the embrace. Michael did not hear his sobs but he felt as the strong shoulders underneath him began to shake. He wrapped his other arm around the front of the hunters body and Sam's hands came up to grip tightly around Michael's bicep. "It's okay," he said softly. "It'll be okay."

Sam's head fell onto the familiar shoulder and Michael suspected that this here was why he was in the body of John Winchester, Sam needed this comfort. Something stirred in Michael, fear, that he was doing this wrong. Raphael was the one who understood humans, who comforted souls lost and confused from their sudden entrance into Heaven. He could do nothing but hum soothing sounds and rock them gently. Slowly he allowed his wings, as weak as they were in this dreamscape, to come forward. He knew that Dean always took great comfort in their embrace and he hoped the younger brother would be no different. Sam startled at the first touch but stilled immediately. The response was quick, the tension drained from Sam's shoulders and his sobs become more quiet before they stopped all together. He rested into the embrace more fully.

Sam's voice sounded so suddenly in the quiet comfort it nearly startled Michael. "Does God hear me when I pray?"

He hesitated just a moment before, "sometimes even I do not know if Father hears me pray, but Sam, I do," he said tenderly. "I have heard your pray since you were just a boy. You are a man of staggering faith, something to be admired." He draped his wings more fully over the calming mortal. "I also know that God very well may not hear us, but he loves you Sam. This I am certain of."

Sam sat up suddenly and wiped at his eyes before giving Michael a shy smile. "Thank you Michael." He returned the smile, a strange feeling indeed, and went to stand but Sam's hand on his arm stopped him. "Would you-I mean if you don't- Could you stay?"

Michael returned to his original seat across from Sam and the boy stretched out. "I will stay until you fall asleep," Sam smiled and Michael refrained from pointing out that technically Sam was already asleep.

The young hunter quickly fell off to sleep but not before mumbling, "goodnight Dad." Michael stood and walked to the mortal and placed his hand along the marred flesh and carefully healed it before concentrating on the scar along his neck, finally he healed the aches that did not reach Sam in sleep before leaving him to his dreams.

He went to Dean and found him sleeping now with his angel wrapped tightly in his arms and Michael healed his wounds too. "I am sorry brother Winchester's, I shall try to not fail you any more." He returned home, intent on apologizing to his brother for the rude, uncalled for actions before he had left.

* * *

I am not happy with this chapter, but I made a promise to the muse to stop being so difficult and this was how it wanted Michael to come across; and *totally reluctant* I guess it does know where it's going. I also wanted to show that even an angel like Michael is being changed by what's happening around them.

The scene between Michael and Sam was a big reason why I wanted the subconcsious to choose the way the angel appears to our boys. I wasn't sure when but I wanted this scene, of course in my head it was a bit different, but cookies-crumble. There was a lot less 'baaww' and a lot more yelling. :)

Hope you enjoyed!


	11. Chapter 11

Ezekiel had watched as his brothers became more withdrawn and quiet, watched as few and fewer thought reached them, watched as Castiel became a shell of his former self. He'd thought when the superiors took away his ability to see Dean on Earth that the once impressive Castiel would finally make that leap to the mortal world. It had not been the case; instead his brother began to interact with them once more, spoke kinder and more patient then he had in eternity. Even the usually spiteful Azrael had changed, he would speak to his brothers once more, smile and even laugh if the occasion called for it.

Though even on his younger brothers' best days Ezekiel found it hard to look into his eyes. Guilt tore at him whenever he thought of how it had been _his_ responsibility to take care of Azrael and Ezekiel had failed miserably at the task.

"The deceit of our traitorous sister had a hand in that." Helez cut into his thoughts.

"Have you no shame?" he asked.

The hearty laugh did not bother him as it once had. "You my dear brother tend to broadcast your thoughts."

An indignant 'do not' almost escaped his lips, instead he glared and turned slightly from Helez. "What do you want?" he loved all his brothers but Helez had a way of crawling under his skin.

"I felt your self pity clear across Heaven," he softened the words with a kind smile. "I came to make sure you did not allow it to consume you."

"As you can see I am fine," Ezekiel went to leave but Helez stopped him.

The larger than life angel frowned, "you are far from fine my brother." His voice held no room for arguement.

Ezekiel had to stomp down on the need to tear into his brother until Helez had no desire to be around him. This was Helez though he was talking to, "I shall be fine." Ezekiel wanted to say 'does that make you happy?' but refrained from being any more hostile.

"No," Helez said immediately.

"You truly do have no shame." He huffed and could not care how human it made him sound.

Helez smiled warmly, "when it comes to the well being of my brothers I don't believe in shame." Ezekiel very nearly rolled his eyes at that, but it was still the kindest gesture Ezekiel had ever received.

"Thank you Helez," Ezekiel reached out and grasped his brother's shoulder briefly, "you are truly and Angel of the Lord." Helez smiled and squeezed his hand back before Ezekiel pulled away. "I still worry about them, no matter how much more happier they seem."

Helez's eyes clouded with concern, "as do I brother. Something feels- off."

"We shall have to keep an eye on them then," he nodded his decision made. "Brother?"

"If not us, then who?" he said eyes serious. "We know them best." Ezekiel felt confident that together they would protect their healing brothers.

* * *

Castiel knew that not all his brothers were convinced by his and Azrael's performance but Azrael insisted that it was important that they seemed happier. For his younger brother this was not a difficult task; the younger angel radiated goodwill and happiness. Personally Casteil did not see how this would help, but he had noticed a less pressing presence in his mind now that his brethren did not fear his fall. Even with the ever increasing wall he built within himself they felt safer knowing the Castiel was happy.

Azrael, though, still worried them. The lock on his mind had many brothers whispering about it's state. But Azrael smiled and spoke and was so genuiney happy that they could only surmise that it was his torture at Beriah's hands that was causing it and hopefully with more time it too would heal.

Anna touched down next to him and he gave her a warm smile. "Oh Brother," she threw her arms around him, "to see you smile again; it is a sight for sore eyes," she murmured stroking his cheek gently.

"Anna," he admonished softly. Sometimes her blatant display of emotion caused restlessness in their brethren. Her allowance of showing and sharing them did not always go over so well.

"And the _joy_ that graces Azrael," she went on as if she hadn't heard him. He saw tears in her eyes.

"Reign it in Anna," he smiled.

Anna swiped her eyes and smiled brightly, " I apologize but these past few months-" she broke off at Castiel's look of annoyance. "Sorry, it has been terrifying. Though _I_ knew you'd do nothing as foolish as falling; our brothers have worried terribly about you."

Castiel lowered his head, "I owe them an apology."

Anna lifted him to look at her with two fingers under his chin, "you owe no apology for your pain Cas." She kissed his cheek, "I knew with time you'd heal."

Castiel had to force his smile and he hoped Anna did not notice. He felt guilt seize him at the parting words. Heal he had not, lie and decieve and follow Azrael down this path of disobedience is all that he had done 'in time.' The terrifying thought was that Castiel did not care and even if they were caught by the archangels he would not care; the happiness Azrael had expressed in the time since he had confronted him was well worth the punishment. He sought out his young brother and found him talking animatedly with Ezekiel, his smile was wide and eyes bright; yes it would be well worth it.

"Castiel!" Azrael threw an arm over his shoulders, "how goes your day?"

"Just fine." His mind was impenetrable and by the look on Ezekiel's face it was frustrating. Castiel felt for his brother he too would not mind a peek inside to find what Azrael knew that no other did. A voice, that sounded suspiciously like Dean, spoke up that he should not be trusting Azrael. But he pushed those thoughts away, still too stubborn to give up this chance of seeing Dean again.

Ezekiel and Azrael were exchanging good byes, "I will see you again shortly Azrael." Ezekiel left and Castiel knew that he was trying to absolve the guilt he felt for what had happen to the younger angel.

Azrael turned to him with excitement, "it is time," he breathed latching a hand around Castiel's bicep.

Castiel's smile faltered, " already?" Though he was excited to be with Dean again he knew it would be difficult to leave his brethren; he still remembered the loneliness of his last few months on Earth when he trusted no one. Though, try as he might, he could not shake the feeling of foreboding that had fallen on him.

"Don't worry," Azrael smiled, "it will be alright. We'll be with our humans again very soon."

"There are no second thoughts here," Castiel bit his lip, "it is just that.. How are we going to leave Heaven without alerting the archangels?"

Azrael smiled that secretive smile he had when ever Castiel asked that. "Do not worry Castiel we will not be discovered. Come on," Azrael took his hand and they took off. Castiel could not help the worry, the Dean in his mind was sounding every warning bell that it could, but Castiel refused to listen. It was just his fear of disobeying; it was- "Here we go," it was not like his first trip down and it was not like how Anna described falling; and that was a relief.

Though he could not shake the feeling that right before they- did whatever it was Azrael had done, that shock and panic had arisen in his brethren.

* * *

Paul watched the demon that had been sent to Earth with him with trepidation; he'd heard the horror stories of what she was capable of and that had all been when she was an angel. Beriah twisted the knife in her hand around and around, not a care that she was nicking her fingers with every twirl. As far as assignments went this was the worst ever; if he hadn't feared Lilth just slightly more he would have begged for a different post. He'd steal babies before he was assigned angel-watch with the psychotic demon.

"God," she breathed rubbing her hands along her arms and chest, "this body is fantastic. Isn't it?"

"Y-yeah," with the blood smeared over her arms and shirt she did look amazing.

Beriah looked at him and licked her lips, "you'll be fun right? The last person Gabriel paired me with didn't like having fun."

Paul shuddered, the archangel gave him chills. "Of course ma'am."

"None of that," she walked, glided up to him and wrapped an arm around his waist. "You call me Beriah," she kissed his cheek and Paul was torn between aroused and terrified. "Oh this _demon_," she spit the word, "soul is so weak. I do miss my angelic powers." She sent a vase crashing to the floor, "I would have been able to implode it as an angel." Beriah looked at him and smiled, "then put it back together and do it again."

"I'm sure you'll find f-fun things you can do with your demon soul." Paul stuttered when she rubbed her body against his.

She waved her hand and rolled her eyes, Beriah did not think it was possible. "We'll just see about that. I wont even be able to heal anyone and then cut them more."

"How many times," Paul stumbled away from the woman very much feeling like a teenager caught by their parent, "do I have to remind you that you are not here to hurt anyone." Gabriel appeared in their small room.

"But Gabe I-" the slap echoed, Beriah smirked at the archangel.

"You will keep Castiel and Azrael safe, they will not be harmed. And Azrael is to be treated with the utmost kindness, understand? If he thinks for a moment that he will not be able to spend eternity with Samuel _all_ of my careful planning will be ruined." Gabriel pressed a blade to Beriah's throat; Paul knew that it was like the knife the Winchester's had. "Do you understand me?"

"Of course," it was hard to tell but Paul was certain that Beriah looked frighten for a moment. "I understand, our brothers are to be treated with kindness." The way her eyes flicked away and she moisten her lips it was obvious that Beriah would listen but she was not going to enjoy it.

"Good," Gabriel patted her cheek. "Be prepared I am sending them to you shortly." He was gone and Paul let out a breath he had held since the archangel had appeared.

Beriah stalked to him, the knife in her hand before he could see her summon it. "It seems you will have to be my plaything now." She pouted, "pity I was hoping you would be helping me." The knife flashed out and cut across his cheek quickly followed by her hand. She wiped a smear of blood along his mouth and stared for a moment then turned away. Paul whimpered, he should have begged.

* * *

Look at that, it didn't take me a month to update! Awesome.

Yes that was a very crappy way to end it but I'm still pounding out the next chapter, trying to put some things in order and working on Gabriel's speech. Because yes it's very cliched and usually when the villian gets stab in the back but Gabriel is so pompous that it would just seem wrong if he didn't give some sort of "You were so Blind and had No idea what was happening!" speech to the angels. I will, though, refrain from any evil mwhahaha'ing. So hopefully all that wont take me too long and I can have you another chapter in a timely fashion!


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